Speech etiquette of a specialist. Speech etiquette plays a vital role

It is vital for any person to know good manners. The norm of behavior should be the manifestation good manners. A cultured person is obliged to know the rules of etiquette and observe them. The ability to present yourself, as well as make a good impression, will give you the opportunity to gain confidence and feel comfortable in absolutely any society.
What is speech etiquette? Speech etiquette - rules of polite communication and speech behavior. The ability to master speech etiquette helps to achieve authority, trust and self-respect. Constant use speech etiquette in the business community, makes a positive impression of the organization on partners and clients, and accumulates a positive reputation.

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Photo gallery: Speech etiquette - rules of polite communication

Greetings.

When meeting, you should say hello not only to someone you know, but also to someone you don’t know, if you need to contact this person with some request or question. Certain rules of communication and norms of etiquette exist not only in relation to the forms of greetings, but also to the conditions under which it is more appropriate to use one or another form.

Usually the first to greet:

• man - woman;

• younger - older;

• a younger woman - an older one, as well as an older man;

• junior employees - senior employees;

• latecomer - waiting;

• the one who enters the room - those already present;

• the one who passes - the one standing;

• passing by - overtaking.

Under the same conditions, the more polite person greets first.

A woman entering a room with guests already gathered there must be the first to greet those present, without waiting for the men to greet her. In the meantime, men should not wait for a woman to come up to them and say hello. It will be better if the men themselves rise up and meet her halfway.

If a person enters a room where there are guests invited by the owner, it is necessary to greet all the guests at once or each of those present separately. Approaching the table, a person must greet those present and again greet each of his neighbors at the table, sitting down in his place. Moreover, in both the first and second cases, it is not necessary to shake hands.

When greeting a lady, as well as a person of senior status or age, a seated man must stand up. If he greets people passing by with whom he does not intend to talk, the man may not stand up, but only sit up.

At formal receptions, the host or hostess is greeted first, then the ladies, first the older ones, then the younger ones; after - more senior men, and only then the rest of the guests. The host and hostess must shake hands with all guests invited to their home.

If there are married couples at the reception, then the women greet each other first, then the men greet them, and only then the men greet each other.

A woman walking with a man greets a woman walking or standing alone first. If you are standing with someone and your companion greets a stranger, you need to greet him too. If you meet someone you know in the company of a stranger, you need to say hello to both of them. It is also necessary to greet everyone in the group you approach.

Performance.

There are a number of rules of polite communication that must be followed when meeting people and making introductions. A man, no matter what age or position, is always the first to introduce himself to a woman. Younger women and men should be introduced to those who are more senior in age (as well as by official position), and to a familiar person - to a less familiar one (provided that they are of the same gender and age). If two people have the same position, then the younger one should be introduced to the older one, the subordinate to the boss, if there is only one person, then he is introduced to the couple or a whole group, society, the woman should also be the first to be introduced to the married couple. In this case, you first need to say the name of the person introducing yourself. You can’t just bring people up to each other and say, “Get to know each other.” It is rude to force people to identify themselves.

If a man sits while being introduced, he must stand. A woman does not have to stand up, except for those moments when she is introduced to an older lady (or position). After introductions, people should exchange greetings or, more likely, handshakes. The first person to extend his hand is the one to whom they are introducing themselves. Giving a couple of fingers or their tips instead of a hand is impolite. If a lady or a person senior in rank or age does not shake hands, you need to bow slightly.

Conducting a conversation.

The tone of the conversation should be absolutely natural, continuous, smooth, but in no case meticulous and playful, this means that you need to be knowledgeable, but not pedantic, cheerful, but you should not make noise, you need to be polite, but you cannot exaggerate politeness .

In “high society”, communication etiquette allows you to talk about everything, but you cannot delve into anything. When talking, all serious polemics should be avoided, especially when talking about religion and politics.

No less a necessary condition for a well-mannered and polite person is the ability to listen. If you know how to listen carefully to a story without interrupting the narrator, and be able to show your interest in the place with questions like: “And what happened next? "," This is incredible! How could this happen? ”, “And how did you deal with this? ”, then any person will be pleased to talk with you.

Do not try to overwhelm your interlocutor with erudition. Nobody wants to feel stupider than others. But if you don’t know about something, don’t be shy to talk about it. Most people like to talk about something that their interlocutors do not know.

In society, you cannot start talking about yourself until you are specifically asked to do so. But even in this situation, you need to be modest and not overestimate yourself and your capabilities.

You should not talk at a long distance, as this will attract the attention of people around you, but you should not communicate “closely”.

Rules and norms of speech etiquette

Speech communication is the unity of two sides (transmission and perception of information).

Forms of communication are oral and written.

Spheres of speech communication - social and everyday life, socio-cultural, educational and scientific, socio-political, official and business.

With the help of verbal etiquette formulas, we express relationships when meeting and parting, when we thank someone or apologize, in a dating situation, and in many other cases. Each language has its own fund of etiquette formulas. Their composition in the Russian language is most fully described by A. A. Akishina and N. I. Formanovskaya, the authors of numerous works on modern Russian speech etiquette. The conceptual core of speech etiquette is the concept of politeness as an indispensable condition for tolerant verbal communication in various manifestations: tact, goodwill, courtesy, correctness, courtesy, gallantry, courtesy, friendliness, etc.

Rules for talking on the phone: you should distinguish between formal and informal conversations; business calls are made on work phones, informal calls on home phones; it is indecent to call before 9 am and after 22:00; You cannot call strangers; if you have to do this, you must explain who gave the phone number; the conversation should not be long - 3-5 minutes; the subscriber being called is not required to identify himself, even if it is a business telephone; It is not permissible for a caller to start a conversation with questions: “Who’s talking?”, “Who’s on the phone?”

Semantic parts telephone conversation: establishing contact (identification, hearing testing); beginning of a conversation (greeting, question about the opportunity to speak, questions about life, business, health, message about the purpose of the call); topic development (expanding the topic, exchanging information, expressing opinions); friendly tone, clear pronunciation of words, average speech rate, neutral voice volume; end of the conversation (final phrases summarizing the topic of the conversation, etiquette phrases, farewell).

Etiquette standards; technique for implementing etiquette standards

In modern linguistics, the term “norm” is understood in two meanings: firstly, the norm is the generally accepted use of various linguistic means, regularly repeated in the speech of speakers (reproduced by speakers), and secondly, prescriptions, rules, instructions for use, recorded in textbooks, dictionaries , reference books.

Several definitions of normal can be found. For example, S.I. Ozhegov says: “A norm is a set of the most suitable (“correct”, “preferred”) means of language for serving society, emerging as a result of the selection of linguistic elements (lexical, pronunciation, morphological, syntactic) from among coexisting, existing, newly formed or extracted from the passive stock of the past in the process of social, in a broad sense, assessment of these elements." In the encyclopedia "Russian Language" - "Norm (linguistic), literary norm - rules of pronunciation, grammatical and other linguistic means, rules of word usage accepted in the social and speech practice of educated people."

The definition has become widespread: “... a norm is the linguistic units that exist at a given time in a given linguistic community and are mandatory for all members of the collective and the patterns of their use, and these mandatory units can either be the only possible ones or act as co-existing ones in within the literary language of variants."

In order to recognize a particular phenomenon as Normative, the following conditions are necessary:

• 1) regular use (reproducibility) this method expressions,
• 2) compliance of this method of expression with the capabilities of the literary language system (taking into account its historical restructuring),
• 3) public approval of a regularly reproduced method of expression (and the role of a judge in this case falls to the lot of writers, scientists, and the educated part of society).

The given definitions relate to the language norm. The concept of speech norm is closely related to the concept of functional style. If linguistic norms are uniform for the literary language as a whole, they unite all normative units regardless of the specifics of their functioning, then speech norms establish patterns of use of linguistic means in a particular functional style and its varieties. These are functional-style norms; they can be defined as obligatory patterns of selection and organization of linguistic means at a given time, depending on the situation, goals and objectives of communication, and the nature of the utterance. For example, from the point of view of linguistic norms, the forms are considered correct on holiday -- on vacation, doors -- doors, a student reading - a student who is reading, Masha is beautiful - Masha is beautiful etc., however, the choice of one or another specific form, one or another word depends on speech norms, on communicative expediency.

Speech is closely related to ethics. Ethics prescribes rules of moral behavior (including communication), presupposes certain manners of behavior and requires the use of external politeness formulas expressed in specific speech acts.

Compliance with etiquette requirements when violating ethical standards is hypocrisy and deception of others. On the other hand, completely ethical behavior that is not accompanied by adherence to etiquette will inevitably make an unpleasant impression and cause people to doubt the moral qualities of the individual.

In oral communication, it is necessary to observe a number of ethical and etiquette standards that are closely related to each other.

Rules and norms of speech etiquette at the beginning of communication: address, greeting

Greetings: If the addressee is unfamiliar to the subject of speech, then communication begins with acquaintance. This can happen directly or indirectly. According to the rules of good manners, it is not customary to enter into a conversation with a stranger and introduce yourself. However, there are times when this is necessary. Etiquette prescribes the following formulas: Allow me to meet you; I would like to get to know you; Let's get acquainted. When visiting an institution, office, office, when you have a conversation with an official and you need to introduce yourself to him, the following formulas are used: Let me introduce myself. My last name is Kolesnikov. Official and informal meetings of acquaintances, and sometimes strangers, begin with a greeting. In Russian, the main greeting is hello. It goes back to the Old Slavonic verb zdravstvat, which means “to be healthy,” i.e. healthy. Along with this form, a common greeting indicating the time of the meeting is: Good morning, Good afternoon, Good evening. In addition to commonly used greetings, there are greetings that emphasize the joy of meeting, respectful attitude, and desire for communication: I’m very glad to see you!; Welcome!; My regards! An illustrative example is one that makes it possible to observe entry and penetration into someone else’s environment by following the etiquette rules of speech and accepted forms of greeting accepted in that environment: “Hello, Iron, how are you? - I told him as unceremoniously as possible. “Things are like in Poland: whoever has the cart is the master,” he answered briskly, as if we had known each other for a hundred years” (Ch. Aitmatov. Scaffold). Well, would the hero use something familiar to himself (typical of his own social characteristics) You are a stranger and would remain a stranger.

It is common for villagers to greet even strangers, sending them a sign of goodwill. Hello makes us happy. Be that as it may, we need an etiquette sign of greeting at least to say: I notice you.

Appeal: Address is one of the most important and necessary components of speech etiquette. The address is used at any stage of communication, throughout its entire duration, and serves as its integral part. At the same time, the norm for using the address and its form have not been definitively established, cause controversy, and are a sore point of Russian speech etiquette.

The monarchical system in Russia of the twentieth century maintained the division of people into classes: nobles, clergy, commoners, merchants, burghers, peasants. Hence the address master, madam in relation to people of privileged classes; sir, madam - for the middle class or master, mistress for both and the absence of a single address to representatives of the lower class.

In other civilized countries, addresses were the same for all strata and classes (Mr., Mrs., Miss - England, USA; signor, signorina, signora - Italy; pan, lady - Poland, Czech Republic and Slovakia)

After the revolution, all old ranks were abolished and two new titles were introduced: “comrade” and “citizen”. The word "citizen" comes from the Old Church Slavonic gorozhan (resident of the city). In the 18th century, this word acquired the meaning of “a full member of society, the state.” But in the 20th century, especially in the 20-30s, a custom appeared, and then it became the norm, when addressing arrested, convicted, or prisoners to law enforcement officers and vice versa, not to say comrade, only citizen. As a result, the word citizen for many has become associated with detention, arrest, police, and the prosecutor's office. The negative association gradually became so “grown” to the word that it became an integral part of it, so ingrained in people’s minds that it became impossible to use the word citizen as a commonly used address.

The fate of the word comrade turned out somewhat differently. It came to us from Turkic language in the 15th century and had the root tavar, meaning “property, livestock, goods.” Probably, comrade originally meant “trade partner”, then it was supplemented with the meaning “friend”. WITH late XIX centuries, Marxist circles were created in Russia, their members called each other comrades. During communism, comrade was the main address to a person; later this began to be replaced by words like: man, woman, grandfather, father, boyfriend, auntie, uncle. These addresses may be perceived by the addressee as disrespect and unacceptable familiarity.

Since the late 80s of the last century, the following addresses have begun to come back into use: sir, madam, sir, madam. The address comrade is legally retained as an official address in the armed forces and other law enforcement agencies, as well as communist organizations, factory and factory teams.

After the greeting, a business conversation usually ensues. Speech etiquette provides for several principles that are determined by the situation. The most typical are 3 situations: solemn, working, mournful.

The first includes public holidays, anniversaries of the enterprise and employees, receiving awards, birthdays, name days, significant dates of the family or its members, presentation, conclusion of an agreement, creation new organization. For any special occasion or significant event, invitations and congratulations follow. Depending on the situation (official, semi-official, informal), invitations and greeting cliches change.

Invitation: Allow me to invite you. Come to a holiday (anniversary, meeting..), we will be glad to see you.

Congratulations: Please accept my (most) heartfelt (warm, ardent, sincere) congratulations..; On behalf of (on behalf of) congratulations; I heartily (warmly) congratulate you.

As in all other situations of interpersonal communication, congratulations must be extremely correct, appropriate and sincere. But you need to be very careful with sincerity.

Congratulations are a socially accepted ritual of respect and joy for a loved one, but this is not a way of conducting a conversation or correspondence; congratulations should not sound purely personal topics and questions from the addressee of congratulations. The content of the congratulation is an expression of joy, but nothing more.

A sad situation is associated with death, death, murder and other events that bring misfortune and grief. In this case, condolences are expressed. It should not be dry, official. Formulas of condolences, as a rule, are stylistically elevated and emotionally charged: Allow me (allow me) to express (to you) my (my) deep (sincere) condolences. I offer (to you) my (accept mine, please accept my) deep (sincere) condolences. I share (understand) your sadness (your grief, misfortune)

The listed beginnings (invitation, congratulations, condolences, expressions of sympathy) do not always turn into business communication, sometimes the conversation ends with them.

In everyday business settings (business, work situations), speech etiquette formulas are also used. For example, when summing up the work, when determining the results of the sale of goods, the need arises to thank someone or, conversely, to reproach or make a remark. At any job, in any organization, someone may have the need to give advice, make a proposal, make a request, express consent, allow, prohibit, or refuse someone.

Acknowledgment: Allow me to express (great, huge) gratitude to Nikolai Petrovich Bystrov for the excellent (excellent) organized exhibition; The company (directorate, administration) expresses gratitude to all employees for...

In addition to official thanks, there are also ordinary, unofficial thanks. This is the usual “thank you”, “you are very kind”, “no need for thanks”, etc.

Remarks, warning: The company (directorate, board, editorial office) is forced to make a (serious) warning (remark)..., To (great) regret (chagrin), must (force) to make a remark (condemn). Often people, especially those endowed with power, consider it necessary to express their proposals and advice in a categorical form: Everyone (you) must (obliged) ..., I categorically (persistently) advise (suggest) to do ... Advice, proposals expressed in this form are similar to an order or instructions and do not always give rise to a desire to follow them, especially if the conversation takes place between colleagues of the same rank. The “magic” of speech etiquette is that it truly opens the door to our human interactions. Try saying, for example, in public transport: Move over! Your recipient will most likely interpret this as a rude demand and will have the right not to perform the action. And add the magic please - and the imperative form already expresses a request, and only a request, quite respectful, directed to an equal partner. And there are many more ways to address this situation: Isn’t it difficult for you to move?; If you don't mind, please move and more. etc.

Politeness and mutual understanding: Be mutually polite - the signs in stores urge us. You have to be polite - parents teach their children... What does it mean to be polite, why are we taught this from early childhood, why is it necessary? To answer these questions, first of all, let's consider the relationship between such phenomena as etiquette and politeness. Let us recall that etiquette and speech etiquette are rules and norms of behavior accepted in a particular society, circle of people, including speech behavior (in accordance with the distribution of social roles in official and informal communication settings), which, on the one hand, regulate, and on the other hand, discover and show the relations of members of society along approximately the following lines: friend - stranger, superior - inferior, senior - junior, distant - close, familiar - unfamiliar, and even pleasant - unpleasant. A guy came to the circle and said to his friends: Great, guys! In this case, he chose such signs of speech behavior that put him on an equal footing with others, demonstrate the rudely familiar tone of communication, so characteristic of teenagers, these signs tell others: “I am one of my own, close.” To the head of the circle, even a young one, he cannot say: Great, guy, because in this case the norms of role relationships will be violated, because the senior in position must be given signs of attention corresponding to seniority. Without doing this, a person will be impolite. This means that impoliteness is a manifestation when the addressee is assigned a role lower than the one that belongs to him in accordance with his characteristics. Consequently, violation of etiquette norms always results in impoliteness and disrespect of the partner. Well, what about politeness? Politeness is a moral quality that characterizes a person for whom respect for people has become an everyday norm of behavior and a habitual way of treating others. This means politeness is a sign of respect. Politeness is a willingness to provide a service to someone who needs it, delicacy, and tact. And, of course, timely and appropriate speech manifestation - speech etiquette - is an integral element of politeness. Since politeness is a form of showing respect for another, then respect itself presupposes recognition of the dignity of the individual, as well as sensitivity and delicacy towards another. If you look at the example “Great, guys!” from this point of view, - in relation to familiar teenagers from a peer, it can be noted that in this greeting and address there is no special reflection of respect, there is only a sign of entry into verbal contact of “one of our own”, “equal” in a relaxed, familiar relationship. This means there is no special politeness here.

Politeness is also necessary when conducting business communication.

Firstly, you must treat your interlocutor with respect and kindness. It is prohibited to offend or insult your interlocutor with your speech, or to express disdain. Direct negative assessments of the communication partner’s personality should be avoided; only specific actions can be assessed, while maintaining the necessary tact. Rude words, a cheeky form of speech, an arrogant tone are unacceptable in intelligent communication. And from a practical point of view, such features of speech behavior are inappropriate, because never contribute to achieving the desired result in communication.

Politeness in communication presupposes understanding the situation, taking into account the age, gender, official and social status of the communication partner. These factors determine the degree of formality of communication, the choice of etiquette formulas, and the range of topics suitable for discussion.

Secondly, the speaker is instructed to be modest in self-assessments, not to impose his own opinions, and to avoid being too categorical in speech.

Moreover, it is necessary to put the communication partner in the spotlight, show interest in his personality, opinion, and take into account his interest in a particular topic.

It is also necessary to take into account the listener’s ability to perceive the meaning of your statements; it is advisable to give him time to rest and concentrate. For this reason, it is worth avoiding too long sentences, it is useful to take short pauses, and use speech formulas to maintain contact: you, of course, know...; you might be interested to know...; as you can see...; note…; should be noted... etc.

The norms of communication also determine the behavior of the listener.

First, you need to put other things aside to listen to the person. This rule is especially important for those specialists whose job is to serve clients.

When listening, you must treat the speaker with respect and patience, try to listen carefully and to the end. If you are very busy, it is permissible to ask to wait or reschedule the conversation for another time. In official communication, it is completely unacceptable to interrupt the interlocutor, insert various comments, especially those that sharply characterize the interlocutor’s proposals and requests. Like the speaker, the listener puts his interlocutor at the center of attention and emphasizes his interest in communicating with him. You should also be able to express agreement or disagreement in a timely manner, answer a question, or ask your own question.

When the conversation ends, the interlocutors use formulas for parting and stopping communication. They express wishes (All the best to you! Goodbye!); hope for a new meeting (See you in the evening (tomorrow, Saturday); I hope we part for a short time. I hope to see you soon); doubt about the possibility of meeting again (Goodbye! It’s unlikely we’ll see each other again. Don’t remember it badly!).

In addition to the usual forms of farewell, there is a long-established ritual of compliments. A tactfully and timely compliment, it lifts the mood of the recipient and sets him up for a positive attitude towards the opponent. A compliment is said at the beginning of a conversation, during a meeting, acquaintance, or during a conversation, when parting. A compliment is always nice. Only an insincere compliment, a compliment for the sake of a compliment, an overly enthusiastic compliment are dangerous. The compliment relates to appearance, indicates the recipient’s excellent professional abilities, his high morality, and gives an overall positive assessment

• - You look good (excellent, wonderful).
• - You are (so, very) charming (smart, resourceful, practical).
• - You are a good (excellent, wonderful) specialist.
• - It’s a pleasure (excellent, good) to do business (work, cooperate) with you.
• - It was nice to meet you!
• - You are a very nice (interesting) person (interlocutor).

The absence of a farewell ritual or its vagueness or crumpledness does not in any way indicate that the person left “in English”; it speaks either of the person’s negative, hostile or hostile attitude, or of his banal bad manners.

Etiquette norms also apply to written speech.

An important issue in business letter etiquette is the choice of address. For standard letters on formal or minor occasions, the address " Dear sir Petrov!" For a letter to a senior manager, a letter of invitation or any other letter by important issue It is advisable to use the word “respected” and call the recipient by name and patronymic.

In business documents, it is necessary to skillfully use the capabilities of the grammatical system of the Russian language.

For example, the active voice of a verb is used when it is necessary to indicate the active person. The passive voice should be used when the fact of an action is more important than the mention of the persons who performed the action.

The perfect form of the verb emphasizes the completeness of the action, and the imperfect indicates that the action is in the process of development.

In business correspondence there is a tendency to avoid the pronoun “I”. The first person is expressed by the ending of the verb.

Through letters, information is exchanged, offers are made, negotiations are conducted, etc. Sometimes information and reference documentation simply confirms facts and events that you just need to take note of.

Thus, a service letter is a generalized name for documents of various contents, drawn up in accordance with GOST, sent by mail, fax or other method.

Without exaggeration, we can say that this is one of the most common types of official documents, therefore, the success of resolving specific issues, and therefore the entire enterprise as a whole, will largely depend on how accurate, literate, and correct the text of the message is.

Business correspondence must comply with the requirements.

Accuracy, unambiguity of the statement. All words must be used in accordance with their lexical meaning.

Logic Each letter represents:

• - statement of the essence of the issue;
• - speech action;
• - conclusion.

Literacy- a necessary part of any document

Correctness. Business correspondence is correct if it follows the etiquette framework and has a friendly or neutral tone of presentation.

The official business style is one of the functional styles of the modern Russian literary language: a set of linguistic means, the purpose of which is to serve the sphere of official business relations (business relations between organizations, within them, between legal and individuals). Business speech is implemented in the form of written documents, built according to rules common to each of their genre varieties. Types of documents differ in the specifics of their content (which official business situations are reflected in them), and, accordingly, in their form (the set and arrangement of details - the content elements of the text of the document); They are united by a set of language tools traditionally used to convey business information.

Virtual Communication Etiquette

In general, the virtual world is sometimes striking in its anarchic nature of communication, which sometimes turns into flooding (sending more than two messages per second, often of primitive content). In addition to the official rules of online conversation that everyone tries to follow, there is a so-called “unwritten code of communication” similar to real-world etiquette. Here you should also say hello before starting a conversation, avoid unnecessary flooding, do not overuse exclamation marks, and also avoid the abundance of CAPITAL LETTERS, the use of which will give the interlocutor(s) an ambiguous opinion about you. You should not use a large number of emoticons (English Smile - smile), which are digital (letters - encoded numbers) expression of emotions. As proof of my rightness, I will give a quote from www.bash.org.ru: “I am verbose and a master of polemical argument, a master of the ligature of words and an illusionist of speech. I am a verbal walking dictionary of synonyms of the Russian language. I can make a Balinese platypus from any okapi, even if they are not found in Bali. I can sell the Eskimos a wagon of potatoes without a wagon and potatoes, but with high boots and a bag of snow. But even I am not omnipotent, and I can only shake my head at a remark at the level of “:)))))).” Violation of the “unwritten code of communication” will reveal the interlocutor as an inexperienced or “too young” user; it is unlikely that you will be able to have a fruitful conversation with him, and his messages will simply be an eyesore. (“Sirs, Peers, know when to stop” (c) A. Conan Doyle). It is worth restraining your emotions, expressing yourself to the point, and being moderately verbose, then communicating with you will not be a burden to others.

virtual communication

Nowadays, in addition to the traditional methods of face-to-face communication, there are also many virtual ones. For example, communication via short message service (SMS), which involves communication between people with mobile phones. ICQ (ICQ for short) is a computer program that allows you to type and see messages from one or more people on a monitor. These are the main methods of virtual communication, but there are still many branches (IRC, Skype, forums, etc.) The problem with this kind of unreal communication is the lack of direct contact with the interlocutor, which makes it impossible to understand the person with whom you are communicating sufficiently to trust him. In essence, letters forming words on your screen are an expression of the thoughts of the interlocutor. But this is not enough for full communication, because there is no visual contact and the voice of the interlocutor cannot be heard (Skype is an exception). Another missed point in virtual communication is emotions. In netiquette there is a way to express some primitive feelings (sadness, smile, laughter), but it’s worth thinking about whether a colon with a closing bracket “:)” can convey the smile of a white-toothed beauty? Hardly. And there is no way to observe the uncontrolled reaction of the interlocutor’s body to any of your statements (be it embarrassment that contributes to redness of the face). We will not see this, which leads to inferior communication. There is also no possibility to feel the timbre of the voice, beat and other aspects of phonetics. It all comes down to monotonous clattering on the keyboard. The life of conversation, the playfulness of demagogues, the aesthetics of dialogue are lost. What remains of communication etiquette are a few bytes of rules hanging alone on the official IRC communication website, which almost no one reads.

Today, correct and cultural speech no longer occupies its former dominant place in society. Most people communicate without due respect and respect for each other, thereby creating misunderstandings, unnecessary quarrels and swearing.

If you adhere to certain norms of speech etiquette, then everyday communication will bring pleasure and joy, turning it into strong friendships, business contacts, and families.

Peculiarities

First of all, you need to find out what etiquette is. Summarizing most definitions, we can conclude that etiquette is a set of generally accepted rules regarding norms of behavior, appearance, as well as communication between people. In turn, speech etiquette is certain linguistic norms of communication established in society.

This concept appeared in France during the reign of Louis XIV. Court ladies and gentlemen were given special “labels” - cards on which recommendations were written on how to behave at the table at a banquet, when there was a ball, a gala reception of foreign guests, etc. In this “forced” way, the foundations of behavior were laid, which Over time they became part of the common people.

From time immemorial and to this day, the culture of each ethnic group has had and still has its own special norms of communication and behavior in society. These rules help to tactfully enter into verbal contact with a person without hurting his personal feelings and emotions.

Features of speech etiquette include a number of linguistic and social properties:

1. The inevitability of fulfilling etiquette forms. This means that if a person wants to be a full-fledged part of society (a group of people), then he must comply with generally accepted norms of behavior. Otherwise, society may reject him - people will not want to communicate with him or maintain close contact.
2. Speech etiquette is public politeness. It is always flattering to communicate with a well-mannered person, and it is especially pleasant to reciprocate with a “kind” word. There are often cases when people are unpleasant to each other, but end up in the same team. This is where speech etiquette comes in handy, because all people want comfortable communication without swear words and harsh expressions.
3. The need to comply with speech formulas. The speech action of a cultured person cannot do without a sequence of stages. The beginning of a conversation always begins with a greeting, followed by the main part - the conversation. The dialogue ends with farewell and nothing else.
4. Smoothing out conflicts and conflict situations. Saying “sorry” or “excuse me” at the right time will help avoid unnecessary conflicts.
5. The ability to show the level of relations between interlocutors. For people in a close circle, as a rule, warmer words of greeting and communication in general are used (“Hello,” “I’m so glad to see you,” etc.). Those who don’t know each other simply adhere to the “official” (“Hello”, “Good afternoon”).

The manner of communicating with people is always a direct indicator of a person’s level of education. To become a worthy member of society, you need to develop communication skills, without which it will be very difficult in the modern world.

Formation of a culture of communication

From the moment of birth, the child begins to receive necessary knowledge to develop skills and abilities. Conversational skill is the basis of conscious communication, without which it is difficult to exist. Nowadays it is given a lot of attention not only in the family, but also in educational institutions (school, university). Communication culture is understood as a model of speech behavior that must be relied upon when speaking with another individual. Its full formation depends on many factors: the environment in which a person grew up, the level of education of his parents, the quality of the education received, personal aspirations.

Forming a culture of communication skills is a long and complex process. It is based on a number of goals and objectives, having achieved which, you can fully master the skill of tactful and polite communication with people in secular society and at home. They are aimed (goals and objectives) at developing the following qualities:

1. sociability as an individual personality trait;
2. the formation of communicative relationships in society;
3. lack of isolation from society;
4. social activity;
5. improving academic performance;
6. development of an individual’s rapid adaptation to a variety of activities (play, study, etc.).

The relationship between culture and speech

Every person sees and feels the invisible connection between the culture of speech and etiquette. It seems that these concepts are absolutely close and equal to each other, but this is not entirely true. To begin with, it is necessary to define what culture is in a broad sense.

Culture means that a person has certain communicative qualities and knowledge, good reading and, as a result, a sufficient vocabulary, awareness of a number of issues, the presence of upbringing, as well as the ability to behave in society and alone with oneself.

In turn, the culture of conversation or communication is the individual’s way of speaking, his ability to conduct a conversation, and express his thoughts in a structured manner. This concept is very difficult to understand, so there is still a lot of debate about the accuracy of this definition.

In Russia and abroad, this branch of linguistics as a science is engaged in the development of rules of communication and their systematization. Speech culture also means the study and application of the rules and norms of written and oral speech, punctuation, accentology, ethics and other areas of linguistics.

WITH scientific point In terms of vision, speech is defined as “correct” or “incorrect”. This implies the correct use of words in various linguistic situations. Examples:

• “Go home already! "(correctly said - go);
• “Put bread on the table? "(the word “lay” is not used without prefixes, so it is necessary to use only such correct forms - put, lay out, impose, etc.)

If a person calls himself cultured, then it is assumed that he has a number of distinctive qualities: he has a large or above average vocabulary, the ability to correctly and competently express his thoughts, and a desire to improve the level of knowledge in the field of linguistics and ethical standards. From ancient times to this day, literary speech has been the standard of etiquette and highly cultural communication. The basis of the correct Russian language lies in classical works. Therefore, we can say with confidence that Speech etiquette is completely interconnected with the culture of communication.

Not having quality education, good upbringing and a special desire to improve communicative qualities, a person will not be able to fully observe the culture of speech, since he will simply be unfamiliar with it. The environment has a special influence on the development of an individual’s linguistic culture. Speech habits are “practiced” among friends and family.

Moreover, speech culture is directly related to such an ethical category as politeness, which, in turn, also characterizes the speaker (a polite person or a rude person). In this regard, we can say that people who do not comply with communication norms show their interlocutor a lack of culture, their bad manners and impoliteness. For example, a person did not say hello at the beginning of a conversation, uses profanity, swear words, or does not use the respectful address “you” when it was expected and implied.

Speech etiquette is closely intertwined with the culture of communication. To improve the level of speech, it is necessary not only to study the template formulas of official dialogue, but also to improve the quality of knowledge by reading classical literature and communicating with polite and highly intelligent people.

Functions

Speech etiquette fulfills whole line important functions. Without them, it is difficult to form an idea about it, as well as to understand how it manifests itself at the moment of communication between people.

One of the main functions of language is communicative, because the basis of speech etiquette is communication. In turn, it consists of a number of other tasks, without which it would not be able to function fully:

• Social(aimed at establishing contact). This implies the initial establishment of a connection with the interlocutor, maintaining attention. Sign language plays a special role at the stage of establishing contact. As a rule, people look eye to eye and smile. Usually this is done unconsciously, on a subconscious level, in order to show the joy of meeting and starting a dialogue, they extend their hand for a handshake (if they get to know each other closely).
• Connotative. This function is aimed at showing politeness towards each other. This applies to both the beginning of the dialogue and the entire communication in general.
• Regulatory. It has a direct connection with the above. From the name it is clear that it regulates relationships between people during communication. In addition, its purpose is to convince the interlocutor of something, to encourage him to act or, conversely, to prohibit him from doing something.
• Emotional. Each conversation has its own level of emotionality, which is set from the very beginning. It depends on the degree of acquaintance of people, the room in which they are located (a public place or a cozy table in the corner of a cafe), as well as on the mood of each individual at the time of speech.

Some linguists supplement this list with the following functions:

• Imperative. It involves the influence of opponents on each other during a conversation through gestures and facial expressions. With the help of open poses, you can win over a person, scare or put pressure on him, “increasing his volume” (the speaker raises his arms high and wide, spreads his legs, looks up).
• Discussive and polemical. In other words, it’s a dispute.

Based on the above functions, the following series of properties of speech etiquette are distinguished:

1. thanks to him, a person can feel like a full-fledged part of the team;
2. it helps to establish communication connections between people;
3. helps to find out information about the interlocutor;
4. with its help you can show your degree of respect for your opponent;
5. Speech etiquette helps to establish a positive emotional mood, which helps prolong the conversation and establish more friendly contact.

The above functions and properties once again prove that speech etiquette is the basis of communication between people, which helps a person start a conversation and end it tactfully.

Kinds

If you turn to the modern dictionary of the Russian language, you can find a definition of speech as a form of communication between people using sounds, which form the basis of words from which sentences are built, and gestures.

In turn, speech can be internal (“dialogue in the head”) and external. External communication is divided into written and oral. Oral communication takes the form of dialogue or monologue. Moreover, written speech is secondary, and oral speech is primary.

Dialogue is a process of communication between two or more individuals for the purpose of exchanging information, impressions, experiences, and emotions. Monologue is the speech of one person. It can be addressed to the audience, to oneself, or to the reader.

Written speech is more conservative in structure than oral speech. She also strictly “requires” the use of punctuation marks, the purpose of which is to convey the exact intent and emotional component. Transmitting words in writing is a complex and interesting process. Before writing anything, a person thinks about what exactly he wants to say and convey to the reader, and then how to write it down correctly (grammatically and stylistically).

Audible verbal communication is spoken language. It is situational, limited by time and space where the speaker directly speaks. Oral communication can be characterized by categories such as:

• content (cognitive, material, emotional, stimulating and activity-based);
• interaction techniques (role communication, business, social, etc.);
• purpose of communication.

If we talk about speech in a secular society, then in this situation people communicate on topics that are prescribed in speech etiquette. In essence, this is empty, pointless and polite communication. To some extent it can be called mandatory. People may perceive a person’s behavior as an insult in their direction if he does not communicate or greet anyone at a social reception or corporate event.

In a business conversation, the main task is to achieve agreement and approval on the part of the opponent on any issue or matter of interest.

Elements of speech

The purpose of any speech act is to influence the interlocutor. The conversation is created in order to convey information to a person, have fun, and convince him of something. Speech is a unique phenomenon that is observed only in human beings. The more meaningful and expressive it is, the greater the effect it will produce.

It should be understood that words written on paper will have less impact on the reader than phrases spoken out loud with emotion embedded in them. The text cannot convey the entire “palette” of the mood of the individual who wrote it.

The following elements of speech are distinguished:

• Content. This is one of the most important elements, since it reflects the true knowledge of the speaker, his vocabulary, erudition, as well as the ability to convey to the listeners the main topic of the conversation. If the speaker “floats” in the topic, is poorly informed and uses expressions and phrases that he does not understand, then the listener will immediately understand this and lose interest. If this is often observed in an individual, then soon interest in him as a person will be lost.
• Naturalness of speech. First of all, a person must be confident in what he says and how he says it. This will help you to have a natural dialogue without taking on any role. It is much easier for people to perceive calm speech without “officiality” and pretense. It is very important that the posture of the speaking individual is also natural. All movements, turns, steps must be smooth and measured.

• Composition. This is a sequential, ordered arrangement of parts of speech and their logical relationship. The composition is divided into five stages: establishing contact, introduction, main speech, conclusion, summing up. If you remove one of them, then conveying information will be a more complex process.
• Understandability. Before you say anything, you need to think about whether the listener will understand you correctly. Therefore, it is necessary to select appropriate stylistic means of expressing thoughts. The speaker must pronounce words clearly and moderately loudly, maintain a certain pace (not too fast, but not too slow), and sentences must be moderate in length. Try to reveal the meaning of abbreviations and complex foreign concepts.
• Emotionality. It is clear that a person’s speech should always convey a certain amount of emotion. They can be conveyed using intonation, expression and “juicy” words. Thanks to this, the opponent will be able to fully understand the essence of the conversation and become interested.
• Eye contact. This element of speech helps not only to establish contact, but also to maintain it. Through eye-to-eye contact, people show their interest and also demonstrate their involvement in the conversation. But visual contact must be established correctly. If you look closely and do not blink, the interlocutor may perceive this as an act of aggression.
• Non-verbal communication. Gestures, facial expressions and postures play a big role during a conversation. They help convey information, convey your attitude to the words spoken and win over your interlocutor. It’s always nice to listen to a person who “helps” himself with his face and hands. Ordinary verbal communication is boring and dry, without gestures or facial expressions.

The above elements of speech help to analyze any person, to understand how educated, erudite and educated he is.

Language of the body

Sometimes nonverbal communication can reveal more than an individual is trying to say. In this regard, when communicating with an unfamiliar person, management or colleague, you need to monitor your gestures and movements. Non-verbal transmission of information occurs almost subconsciously and can influence the emotional tone of the conversation.

Body language includes gestures, postures, and facial expressions. In turn, gestures can be individual (they can be associated with physiological characteristics, habits), emotional, ritual (when a person crosses himself, prays, etc.) and generally accepted (extending his hand to shake hands).

Human activity leaves an important mark on body language. It can also change depending on environmental factors.

Thanks to gestures and postures, you can understand your opponent’s readiness to communicate. If he uses open gestures (legs or arms are not crossed, does not stand half-turned), then this means that the person is not closed and wants to communicate. Otherwise (in closed positions), it is better not to bother you, but to communicate another time.

A conversation with an official or boss is not always carried out when you really want it. Therefore, you need to control your body to avoid unpleasant questions.

Masters of oratory advise not to clench your palms into fists, not to hide your hands back (perceived as a threat), try not to close yourself off (cross your legs, it is especially unethical to cross your legs in such a way that the toe “pokes” at the interlocutor).

During the speech act, it is better to avoid touching the nose, eyebrows, and earlobe. This may be perceived as a gesture indicating a lie in the words.

Special attention should be given to the facial muscles. What's in the soul is on the face. Of course, when you talk to a close friend, you can let go of your emotions, but in the business sphere this is unacceptable. During interviews, negotiations and business meetings, it is better not to compress or bite your lips(this is how a person expresses his distrust and concern), try to look into the eyes or at the entire audience. If the gaze is constantly turned to the side or down, then this is how a person expresses his disinterest and fatigue.

According to the rules of speech etiquette with strangers and in an official setting, it is better to behave with restraint, without unnecessary emotional leaks. As for ordinary everyday communication with friends and family, in this case you can allow yourself to relax so that your gestures and postures echo the words spoken.

Basic rules and regulations

Speech etiquette requires a person to comply with certain norms, since without them the culture of communication itself would not exist. The rules are divided into two groups: strictly prohibitive and more recommendatory in nature (they are determined by the situation and the place in which communication takes place). Speech behavior also has its own regulations.

• compliance of the language with literary norms;
• maintain phasing (first there is a greeting, then the main part of the conversation, then the end of the conversation);
• avoidance of swear words, rudeness, tactless and disrespectful behavior;
• choosing the appropriate tone and manner of communication for the situation;
• using accurate terminology and professionalism without errors.

The regulations on speech etiquette list the following rules of communication:

• in your speech you must try to avoid “empty” words that do not carry meaning, as well as monotonous speech patterns and expressions; Communication should take place at a level accessible to the interlocutor, using understandable words and phrases.
• during the dialogue, let the opponent speak, do not interrupt him and listen to him to the end;
• the most important thing is to be polite and tactful.

Formulas

At the heart of any conversation there are a number of norms and rules that must be adhered to. In speech etiquette, the concept of speech formulas is distinguished. They help “decompose” the conversation between people into stages. The following stages of conversation are distinguished:

• Start of communication(greeting the interlocutor or getting to know him). Here, as a rule, a person chooses the form of address himself. It all depends on the gender of the people entering into the dialogue, their age and emotional state. If these are teenagers, then they can say to each other “Hi! "and that will be fine. In the case when the people starting the conversation are of different age groups, it is better to use the words “Hello”, “Good afternoon/evening”. When these are old acquaintances, communication can begin quite emotionally: “I’m so glad to see you! ", "Long time no see! " There are no strict regulations at this stage if this is normal everyday communication, but in the case of business meetings it is necessary to adhere to a “high” style.
• Main conversation. In this part, the development of dialogue depends on the situation. This could be an ordinary fleeting meeting on the street, a special event (wedding, anniversary, birthday), a funeral or an office conversation. In the case when it is some kind of holiday, the communication formulas are divided into two branches - inviting the interlocutor to a celebration or significant event and congratulations (congratulatory speech with wishes).
• Invitation. In this situation, it is better to use the following words: “I would like to invite you”, “I will be glad to see you”, “please accept my invitation”, etc.
• Wishes. Here the speech formulas are as follows: “accept my congratulations from the bottom of my heart”, “let me congratulate you”, “on behalf of the entire team I wish...”, etc.

Sad events related to the loss of a loved one, etc. It is very important that encouraging words do not sound dry and officious, without proper emotional overtones. It is very absurd and inappropriate to communicate with a person in such grief with a smile and active gestures. In these difficult days for a person, it is necessary to use the following phrases: “accept my condolences”, “I sincerely sympathize with your grief”, “be strong in spirit”, etc.

Working office routine. It is worth understanding that communication with a colleague, subordinate and manager will have different formulas of speech etiquette. In a dialogue with each of the listed people, words may include compliments, advice, encouragement, requests for favors, etc.

• Advice and requests. When a person advises an opponent, the following templates are used: “I would like to advise you...”, “if you allow me, I will give you advice”, “I advise you”, etc. It is easy to agree that asking someone for a favor is sometimes difficult and uncomfortable. A well-mannered person will feel a little awkward. In such a situation, the following words are used: “can I ask you about ...”, “don’t take it as rude, but I need your help”, “please help me”, etc.

The individual experiences the same emotions when he needs to refuse. To make this polite and ethical, you should use the following speech formulas: “I beg your pardon, but I have to refuse,” “I’m afraid I can’t help you,” “I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to help you,” etc.

• Acknowledgments. It is more pleasant to express gratitude, but it also needs to be presented correctly: “I thank you with all my heart,” “I am very grateful to you,” “thank you,” etc.
• Compliments and words of encouragement also require correct presentation. It is important that a person understands to whom he is giving a compliment, since management may perceive it as flattery, and a stranger may consider it rudeness or mockery. Therefore, the following expressions are regulated here: “you are an excellent companion,” “your skills in this matter helped us a lot,” “you look good today,” etc.

• Don’t forget about the form of addressing a person. Many sources indicate that at work and with unfamiliar people it is better to stick to the “you” form, since “you” is a more personal and everyday address
• Ending communication. After the main part of the conversation has reached its climax, the third stage begins - the logical end of the dialogue. Saying goodbye to a person also has different forms. This could be a simple wish. Have a good day or good health. Sometimes the end of the dialogue may end with words of hope for a new meeting: “See you soon,” “I hope this is not the last time I see you,” “I would really like to meet you again,” etc. Doubts are often expressed that the interlocutors will ever or they will meet again: “I’m not sure if we’ll see each other again,” “Don’t remember it badly,” “I will remember only good things about you.”

These formulas are divided into 3 stylistic groups:

1. Neutral. Words without emotional connotation are used here. They are used in everyday communication, at work in the office, as well as at home (“hello”, “thank you”, “please”, “ good day" etc.).
2. Increased. Words and expressions of this group are intended for solemn and significant events. Usually they express a person’s emotional state and his thoughts (“I’m very sorry,” “I’m very glad to see you,” “I really hope to see you soon,” etc.).
3. Reduced. This includes phrases and expressions that are used informally among “our own people.” They can be very rude and colloquial (“salute”, “hello”, “healthy”). They are most often used by teenagers and young people.

All of the above formulas of speech etiquette are not strict regulations for daily communication. Of course, in an official setting you should adhere to a certain order, but in everyday life you can use words that are closer to a “warm” conversation (“hello/bye”, “glad to meet you”, “see you tomorrow”, etc.).

Carrying on a conversation

At first glance, it may seem that conducting small cultural conversation is very simple, but this is not entirely true. It will be difficult for a person without special communication skills to implement this. Everyday communication with loved ones, friends and family is very different from business and official conversation.

For each type of speech communication, society has imposed certain frameworks and norms that require strict adherence to them. For example, everyone knows that in reading rooms, libraries, shops, cinemas or museums you cannot talk loudly or inquire in public family relationships, discuss problems in a raised voice, etc.

Speech is spontaneous and situational, so it needs to be controlled and corrected (if necessary). Speech etiquette “calls” for loyalty, attentiveness to the interlocutor, as well as for maintaining the purity and correctness of speech as such.

• Avoidance of swear words, insults, swearing and humiliation in relation to the opponent. By using them, the person uttering them loses the respect of the listener. This is especially prohibited in the field of business communication (office, educational institution). The most important and basic rule is mutual respect during dialogue.
• Lack of egocentrism when speaking. You need to try not to focus on yourself, your problems, experiences and emotions; you should not be intrusive, boastful and annoying. Otherwise, soon a person simply will not want to communicate with such an individual.
• The interlocutor must show interest in communication. It is always nice to tell something to a person when he is interested in the subject of conversation. In this regard, eye contact, clarifying questions, and open postures are very important.
• Matching the topic of conversation with the place in which it occurs and with the person with whom it is conducted. You should not discuss personal or intimate issues with an unfamiliar interlocutor. The conversation will be awkward and off-putting. You also need to understand where the dialogue starts. For example, during theatrical performance It would be extremely inappropriate and tactless to have a conversation.

• A conversation should only be started if it really does not distract the opponent from something important. If you can see that a person is in a hurry somewhere, doing something, then it is better to check with him about the time when he can communicate.
• The style of speech must meet the norms of business conversation. In a classroom or work environment, it is important to be mindful of what you say, as it may have consequences.
• Moderate gestures. The body gives away emotions and intentions. With strong and expressive gestures, it is difficult for the interlocutor to concentrate on the topic of conversation. Moreover, it can be regarded as a threat.
• Age limits must be respected. With a person several times older than yourself, you must use the “you” address or by name and patronymic. This is how respect for the interlocutor is shown. If the age group is approximately the same, strangers should also use this form. If people know each other, then communication can take place according to personal rules that have long been established. It would be very rude to “poke” towards a younger interlocutor from an adult.

Types of situations

Absolutely every dialogue or communication is a speech situation. Conversation between individuals can take various shapes, it all depends on a number of factors. These include gender composition, time, place, theme, motive.

The gender of the interlocutor plays an important role. In terms of emotional coloring, a conversation between two young men will always differ from the dialogue between girls, just like the dialogue between a man and a woman.

As a rule, speech etiquette involves a man using respectful forms of words when addressing a girl, as well as calling “you” in a formal setting.

The use of different speech formulas directly depends on the place. If this is an official reception, meeting, interview or other important event, then it is necessary to use the words “high level”. In the case when this is a regular meeting on the street or on a bus, you can use stylistically neutral expressions and words.

Speech situations are divided into the following types:

• Official business. Here there are people fulfilling the following social roles: leader - subordinate, teacher - student, waiter - visitor, etc. In this case, strict adherence to ethical standards and rules of speech culture is necessary. Violations will be immediately noted by the interlocutor and may carry consequences.
• Unofficial (informal). Communication here is calm and relaxed. There is no need for strict adherence to etiquette. In this situation, dialogues take place between relatives, close friends, and classmates. But it is worth noting the fact that when a stranger appears in such a group of people, then the conversation from that moment should be built within the framework of speech etiquette.
• Semi-formal. This type has a very vague framework of communication contacts. This includes work colleagues, neighbors, and the family as a whole. People communicate according to the established rules of the team. This is a simple form of communication that has some ethical restrictions.

National and cultural traditions

One of the important assets of the people is culture and speech etiquette, which do not exist without each other. Each country has its own ethical standards and rules of communication. They can sometimes seem strange and unusual for a Russian person.

Each culture has its own speech formulas, originating from the origins of the formation of the nation and state itself. They reflect established folk habits and customs, as well as society’s attitude towards men and women (as you know, in Arab countries it is considered unethical to touch a girl and communicate with her without the presence of a person accompanying her).

For example, residents of the Caucasus (Ossetians, Kabardians, Dagestanis and others) have specific greeting features. These words are selected to suit the situation: a person greets a stranger, a guest entering a house, a farmer in different ways. The beginning of the conversation also depends on age. It also differs by gender.

Residents of Mongolia also greet in a very unusual way. The words of greeting depend on the time of year. In winter, they may greet a person with the words: “How is winter going? “This habit remains from a sedentary lifestyle, when you had to constantly move from place to place. In the autumn they may ask: “Do livestock have a lot of fat?” »

If we talk about Eastern culture, then in China, when meeting, they ask the question whether a person is hungry, whether he has eaten today. And provincial Cambodians ask: “Are you happy today?”

Not only speech norms differ, but also gestures. When Europeans meet, they extend their hands for a handshake (men), and if they are very close acquaintances, they kiss them on the cheek.

Residents southern countries they hug, and in the East they make a small respectful bow. In this regard, it is very important to recognize such features and be prepared for them, otherwise you can simply offend a person without even knowing about it.

A person’s speech is a very important characterological feature; it can be used to determine not only the level of education, but also the degree of his responsibility and discipline. His speech reveals his attitude towards other people, himself, and his business. Therefore, any person who wants to achieve success in communicating with other people needs to work on their speech. The rules of speech etiquette, a summary of which each of us learns in childhood, contribute to better mutual understanding between people and help establish relationships.

The concept of speech etiquette

Etiquette is a set of norms and rules of behavior, usually an unwritten code that each person learns along with culture. Compliance with the rules of speech etiquette is usually not required by anyone to follow in an order or in writing, but they are mandatory for everyone who wants to improve relationships with other people. Speech etiquette prescribes the desired verbal presentation of typical communication situations. No one came up with these rules intentionally; they were formed in the course of human communication over thousands of years. Each label formula has its own roots, functions and variations. Speech etiquette and etiquette rules are a sign of a well-mannered and polite person and subconsciously set up a positive perception of the person using them.

History of origin

The word "etiquette" came into French from Greece. Etymologically, it goes back to the root meaning order, rule. In France, the word was used to refer to a special card on which the rules of seating and behavior at the royal table were prescribed. But during the time of Louis XIV the phenomenon of etiquette itself, of course, did not arise; it had much more ancient origin. The rules of speech etiquette, a brief summary of which can be described by the phrase “successful communication,” begin to take shape when people had to learn to establish relationships and negotiate with each other. Already in ancient times, there were rules of behavior that helped interlocutors overcome mutual mistrust and establish interaction. Thus, the code of good behavior is described in the texts of the ancient Greeks and Egyptians. In ancient times, etiquette rules were a kind of ritual that suggested to interlocutors that they were “of the same blood” and that they did not pose a threat. Each ritual had a verbal and non-verbal component. Gradually original meaning many actions are lost, but the ritual and its verbal presentation are preserved and continue to be reproduced.

Functions of speech etiquette

Modern people often have a question about what are the rules of speech etiquette for? The short answer is to please other people. The main function of speech etiquette is establishing contact. When the interlocutor follows general rules, this makes him more understandable and predictable; we subconsciously trust more what is familiar to us. This goes back to primitive times, when the world around was very uncertain and there were dangers from everywhere; observance of rituals was then extremely important. And when the communication partner performed a familiar set of actions and said the right words, this removed some of the mistrust and facilitated contact. Today, our genetic memory also tells us that a person who follows the rules can be trusted more. The rules and norms of speech etiquette perform the function of creating a positive emotional atmosphere and help to have a favorable influence on the interlocutor. Speech etiquette also acts as a means of demonstrating respect for the interlocutor, helps to emphasize the status distribution of roles between communicants and the status of the communication situation itself - business, informal, friendly. Thus, the rules of speech etiquette are a tool. Part of the tension is relieved by simple etiquette formulas. Speech etiquette, as a formal part of ethics, performs a regulatory function; it helps to establish contacts and influences the behavior of people in typical situations.

Types of speech etiquette

Like any speech, etiquette speech behavior is very different in its written and oral form. The written version has more stringent rules, and in this form etiquette formulas are more mandatory. The oral form is more democratic; some omissions or replacement of words with actions are allowed here. For example, sometimes instead of saying “Hello,” you can get by with a nod of the head or a slight bow.

Etiquette dictates the rules of behavior in certain areas and situations. It is customary to highlight several different types speech etiquette. Official, business or professional speech etiquette determines the rules of speech behavior when performing official duties, during negotiations, and when preparing documents. This type is quite highly formalized, especially in its written form. The rules of Russian speech etiquette in formal and informal settings can be very different; the first signal of a transition from one type of etiquette to another may be a change from addressing “You” to addressing “you.” Everyday speech etiquette is characterized by greater freedom than official etiquette; there is greater variability in key etiquette formulas. There are also such types of speech etiquette as diplomatic, military and religious.

Principles of modern speech etiquette

Any rules of behavior are based on universal principles of morality, and speech etiquette is no exception. Golden Rule Speech etiquette is based on the main moral principle formulated by I. Kant: act towards others as you would like them to act towards you. Thus, polite speech should include formulas that the person himself would be pleased to hear. The basic principles of speech etiquette are appropriateness, precision, brevity and correctness. The speaker must select speech formulas in accordance with the situation, the status of the interlocutor, and the degree of familiarity with him. In any case, you should speak as briefly as possible, but not lose the meaning of what was said. And, of course, the speaker must respect his communication partner and try to construct his statement in accordance with the rules of the Russian language. Speech etiquette is built on two more important principles: goodwill and cooperation. A polite person treats other people with an initial attitude of goodness; he must be sincere and friendly. Communicators must do everything on both sides to ensure that communication is productive, mutually beneficial and enjoyable for all participants.

Etiquette situations

Etiquette regulates behavior in various situations. Traditionally, speech differs significantly in formal settings and in Everyday life, as well as in different forms of its existence: written or oral. However, there are general rules of speech etiquette in various speech situations. The list of such cases is the same for any sphere, culture and form. Standard etiquette situations include:

Greetings;

Attracting attention and appeal;

Introduction and introduction;

Invitation;

Offer;

Request;

Gratitude;

Refusal and consent;

Congratulations;

Condolences;

Sympathy and comfort;

Compliment.

Each etiquette situation has a stable set of speech formulas that are recommended for use.

National features of etiquette

Speech etiquette is based on universal, universal moral principles. Therefore, its basis is the same in all cultures. Such universal principles, characteristic of all countries, include restraint in the expression of emotions, politeness, literacy and the ability to use standard speech formulas appropriate to the situation, and a positive attitude towards the interlocutor. But the private implementation of universal human norms can vary significantly in different national cultures. Variability usually manifests itself in the speech design of a standard situation. The general culture of communication influences national speech etiquette. The rules of etiquette, for example, in the Russian language suggest maintaining a conversation even with strangers if you happen to be in a confined space with them (in a train compartment), while the Japanese and the British will try to remain silent in the same circumstances or speak on as neutral topics as possible. In order not to get into trouble when communicating with foreigners, you should, when preparing for a meeting, familiarize yourself with their etiquette rules.

Contact situation

The basic rules of speech etiquette at the beginning of a conversation are related to the speech format of greetings and addresses. For the Russian language, the main greeting formula is the word “hello”. Its synonyms can be the phrases “I greet you” with an archaic connotation and “good afternoon, morning, evening”, which are more sincere compared to the basic formulation. The greeting stage is one of the most important in establishing contact; words should be pronounced with sincere intonation, with a hint of positive emotionality.

The means of attracting attention are the words: “let me/permit me to address”, “excuse me”, “excuse me” and adding an explanatory phrase to them: ideas, requests, suggestions.

Treatment situation

Addressing is one of the difficult etiquette situations, since it can be difficult to choose the appropriate name for the person to whom you need to address. In the Russian language today, the address “Mister/Madam” is considered universal, but in speech they do not always take root well due to the negative connotations in Soviet times. The best way to address someone is by first name or patronymic, but this is not always possible. Worst option: using the words “girl”, “woman”, “man”. In a situation of professional communication, you can address the person by the name of the person’s position, for example, “Mr. Director.” The general rules of speech etiquette can be briefly described as the desire for the comfort of communicators. In no case should the address indicate any personal characteristics (age, nationality, faith).

Contact termination situation

The final stage in communication is also very important; the interlocutors will remember it and you need to try to leave a positive impression. The usual rules of speech etiquette, examples of which we know from childhood, recommend using traditional phrases for saying goodbye: “goodbye,” “see you later,” “farewell.” However, the final stage should also include words of gratitude for the time spent communicating, perhaps for working together. You can also additionally express hopes for continued cooperation and say parting words. Speech etiquette and etiquette rules recommend maintaining a favorable impression when completing a contact, creating an emotional atmosphere of sincerity and warmth. This is helped more firmly by the formula: “it was very pleasant to communicate with you, I hope for further cooperation.” But cliched phrases must be pronounced as sincerely and with feeling as possible in order for them to acquire true meaning. Otherwise, farewell will not leave the desired emotional response in the memory of the interlocutor.

Rules for introduction and dating

The dating situation requires resolving the issue of conversion. Business communication and contacts with unfamiliar people require addressing as “You”. According to the rules of speech etiquette, “you” is allowed only within the framework of friendly and everyday communication. The introduction is formalized by such phrases as “let me introduce you,” “please introduce me,” “let me introduce you.” The presenter also gives brief description to the person being represented: “position, full name, place of work, or some particularly noteworthy detail.” Acquaintances must, in addition to voicing their name, say positive words: “glad to meet you,” “very nice.”

Rules of congratulations and gratitude

Modern rules of speech etiquette in the Russian language offer a fairly wide range of formulas for From simple “thank you” and “thank you” to “infinitely grateful” and “very grateful.” It is customary to add an additional positive phrase to words of gratitude for a great service or gift, for example, “very nice,” “I’m touched,” “you’re so kind.” There are extremely many congratulation formulas. When writing a congratulation on any occasion, it is worth thinking about individual words, in addition to the usual “congratulations,” that would emphasize the specificity of the occasion and the personality of the person being honored. The text of the congratulation must include any wishes; it is advisable that they are not template, but correspond to the personality of the hero of the occasion. Congratulations should be pronounced with a special feeling, which will give the words greater value.

Rules of invitation, offer, request, consent and refusal

When inviting someone to take part in something, you should also follow the rules of speech etiquette. The situations of invitation, offer and request are somewhat similar; in them, the speaker always slightly reduces the status of his role in communication and emphasizes the importance of the interlocutor. A stable expression for invitation is the phrase “we have the honor to invite,” which notes the special importance of the invitee. For invitation, offer and request, the words “please”, “please”, “please” are used. In the invitation and proposal, you can additionally say about your feelings towards the invitee: “we will be glad/happy to see you”, “we are pleased to offer you.” A request is a situation in which the speaker deliberately reduces his position in communication, but you should not overdo it; the traditional form of a request is the words: “I ask you,” “could you please.” Consent and refusal require different verbal behavior. If consent can be extremely laconic, then refusal must be accompanied by softening and motivating formulations, for example, “unfortunately, we are forced to refuse your proposal, since at the moment ....”

Rules of condolences, sympathy and apologies

In dramatic and tragic etiquette, the rules of etiquette recommend expressing only sincere feelings. Typically, regret and sympathy should be accompanied by encouraging words, for example, “we sympathize with you in connection ... and sincerely hope that ....” Condolences are offered only for truly tragic reasons; it is also appropriate to talk about your feelings and offer help. For example, “I offer you my sincere condolences for... this loss has left me with bitter feelings. If necessary, you can count on me."

Rules of approval and praise

Compliments are an important part of establishing a good relationship, these social strokes are an effective tool in establishing a good relationship. But giving compliments is an art. What distinguishes them from flattery is the degree of exaggeration. A compliment is just a slight exaggeration of the truth. The rules of speech etiquette in the Russian language state that compliments and praise should always refer to a person, and not to things, therefore the words: “how does this dress suit you” are a violation of the rules of etiquette, and a real compliment would be the phrase: “how beautiful you are in this dress". You can and should praise people for everything: for skills, character traits, for performance results, for feelings.

Speech etiquette is a set of requirements for the content, form, order, nature and appropriateness of situational statements accepted in a certain culture. This concept also includes expressions and words that people use to make requests, farewells, and apologies. It is also necessary to include various forms of address and intonation features. Etiquette standards even get their names based on the countries or places where they are applied. As an example, we can cite the so-called “Russian speech etiquette” as a form of ethics inherent exclusively to Russians. Linguists, historians and cultural scientists, psychologists, regionalists, ethnologists and geographers study this phenomenon.

Speech etiquette and its boundaries

In the broadest sense of this word, it can be interpreted as any more or less successful moment (act) of communication. That is why speech etiquette is associated with certain postulates of communication that make the interaction of all participants in communication possible and more successful. These postulates include:

Quality (the speech message must have proper basis and not be deliberately false);

Quantity (balance and harmony between brevity and conciseness of presentation and its spatial vagueness);

Attitude (relevance to the addressee);

Method (clarity, precision of transmitted information for the recipient).

Speech etiquette and its peripheral postulates

If we consider the above rules solely as necessary for the effective execution of the task of transmitting information, then politeness and tactfulness can be thrown out of there. This means that requirements such as truthfulness and relevance can also be omitted in some valid cases.

Speech etiquette and its levels

In a narrow sense, this concept can be characterized as a system of certain linguistic means that are required to establish contacts and relationships. The elements of this system can be considered at different levels:

Level of vocabulary and phraseology (this includes set expressions and special words);

Grammatical level (use of the plural for polite address, for example, the pronoun “you”);

Stylistic level (cultured, literate speech, refusal of obscene and shocking words);

Intonation level (polite intonation, use of softening euphemisms);

Orthoepic level (for example, using the word “hello” instead of “here” or “great”);

Organizational and communicative level (prohibition on interrupting the interlocutor, interfering in someone else’s conversation).

Speech etiquette in everyday practice

This norm is somehow tied to the communication situation. The rules of speech etiquette are a set of parameters that correspond to the situation, the personality of the interlocutor, the place, motive, time and purpose of the conversation. First of all, these are criteria for phenomena that are focused on the addressee, but the personality of the speaker himself is undoubtedly taken into account. The rules of communication may vary depending on the situation and topic. There are more specific vocabulary norms (for example, speeches during a feast, at a funeral, etc.).