Good manners– one of the most important indicators of a well-mannered, cultured person. From early childhood, we are instilled with certain behavior patterns. A cultured person must constantly follow the norms of behavior established in society – observe etiquette.Knowledge and compliance with etiquette standards allows you to feel confident and free in any society.
The word "etiquette" came into the Russian language from French in the 18th century, when the court life of an absolute monarchy was taking shape and broad political and cultural ties between Russia and other states were established.
Etiquette (French) etiquette) – a set of rules of conduct and treatment accepted in certain social circles (at the courts of monarchs, in diplomatic circles, etc.). Typically, etiquette reflects the form of behavior, treatment, and rules of courtesy accepted in a given society, inherent in a particular tradition. Etiquette can act as an indicator of the values of different historical eras.
At an early age, when parents teach their child to say hello, say thank you, and ask for forgiveness for pranks, learning occurs. basic formulas of speech etiquette.
– This is a system of rules of speech behavior, norms for the use of language means in certain conditions. Etiquette verbal communication plays important role for a person’s successful activity in society, his personal and professional growth, and building strong family and friendly relationships. To master the etiquette of verbal communication, knowledge from various humanitarian fields is required: linguistics, history, cultural studies, psychology. To more successfully master cultural communication skills, they use such a concept as speech etiquette formulas.
In everyday life, we constantly communicate with people. Any communication process consists of certain stages:
- starting a conversation (greeting/introduction);
- main part, conversation;
- the final part of the conversation.
Each stage of communication is accompanied by certain cliches, traditional words and fixed expressions – formulasami speech etiquette. These formulas exist in the language in finished form and are provided for all occasions.
To the formulas of speech etiquette words of politeness include (sorry, thank you, please), greetings and farewells (hello, greetings, goodbye), appeals (you, you, ladies and gentlemen). Greetings came to us from the west: good evening, good afternoon, good morning, and from European languages - farewells: all the best, all the best.
The sphere of speech etiquette includes ways of expressing joy, sympathy, grief, guilt, accepted in a given culture. For example, in some countries it is considered indecent to complain about difficulties and problems, while in others it is unacceptable to talk about one’s achievements and successes. The range of conversation topics varies across cultures.
In the narrow sense of the word speech etiquette can be defined as a system of linguistic means in which etiquette relations are manifested. Elements and formulas of this system can be implemented at different language levels:
At the level of vocabulary and phraseology: special words, set expressions, forms of address (thank you, excuse me, hello, comrades, etc.)
At the grammatical level: for polite address, use plurals and interrogative sentences instead of imperatives (You won't tell me how to get there...)
On a stylistic level: maintaining the qualities of good speech (correctness, precision, richness, appropriateness, etc.)
At the intonation level: using calm intonation even when expressing demands, dissatisfaction, or irritation.
At the level of orthoepy: use of full forms of words: з hello instead of hello, please instead of please, etc.
On organizational and communicative level: listen carefully and do not interrupt or interfere in someone else’s conversation.
Speech etiquette formulas are characteristic of both literary and colloquial, and rather reduced (slang) style. The choice of one or another speech etiquette formula depends mainly on the communication situation. Indeed, the conversation and manner of communication can vary significantly depending on: the personality of the interlocutors, the place of communication, the topic of conversation, time, motive and goals.
A place of communication may require participants in a conversation to comply with certain rules of speech etiquette established specifically for the chosen place. Communication at a business meeting, social dinner, or in the theater will differ from behavior at a youth party, in the restroom, etc.
Depends on the participants in the conversation. The personality of the interlocutors primarily influences the form of address: you or you. Form You indicates the informal nature of communication, You – to respect and greater formality in conversation.
Depending on the topic of conversation, time, motive or purpose of communication, we use different conversational techniques.
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SPEECH ETIQUETTE
1. Specifics of Russian speech etiquette
Speech etiquette is a system of rules of speech behavior and stable formulas for polite communication.
Possession of speech etiquette contributes to the acquisition of authority, generates trust and respect. Knowing the rules of speech etiquette and observing them allows a person to feel confident and at ease, and not experience awkwardness or difficulties in communication.
Strict adherence to speech etiquette in business communication leaves clients and partners with a favorable impression of the organization and maintains its positive reputation.
Speech etiquette has national specifics. Each nation has created its own system of rules of speech behavior. In Russian society, such qualities as tact, courtesy, tolerance, goodwill, and restraint are of particular value.
The importance of these qualities is reflected in numerous Russian proverbs and sayings that characterize ethical standards of communication. Some proverbs point to the need to listen carefully to your interlocutor: A smart person does not speak, an ignorant person does not allow him to speak. Tongue - one, ear - two, say once, listen twice. Other proverbs point out typical mistakes in constructing a conversation: Answers when he is not asked. Grandfather talks about chicken, and grandmother talks about duck. You listen, and we will remain silent. A deaf man listens to a mute man speak. Many proverbs warn about the danger of an empty, idle or offensive word: All a person’s troubles come from his tongue. Cows are caught by the horns, people by the tongue. A word is an arrow; if you release it, you will not get it back. What is unspoken can be expressed, what has been said cannot be returned. It's better to understate than to overstate. It buzzes from morning to evening, but there is nothing to listen to.
Tactfulness is an ethical norm that requires the speaker to understand the interlocutor, avoid inappropriate questions, and discuss topics that may be unpleasant for him.
Consideration lies in the ability to anticipate possible questions and wishes of the interlocutor, the willingness to inform him in detail on all topics relevant to the conversation.
Tolerance means being calm about possible differences of opinion and avoiding harsh criticism of the views of your interlocutor. You should respect the opinions of other people and try to understand why they have this or that point of view. Closely related to such a character quality as tolerance is self-control - the ability to calmly respond to unexpected or tactless questions and statements from an interlocutor.
Goodwill is necessary both in relation to the interlocutor and in the entire structure of the conversation: in its content and form, in intonation and choice of words.
2. Technique for implementing label forms
Any act of communication has a beginning, a main part and a final part. If the addressee is unfamiliar to the subject of speech, then communication begins with acquaintance. Moreover, it can occur directly or indirectly. Of course, it is advisable to have someone introduce you, but there are times when you need to do it yourself.
Etiquette offers several possible formulas:
Let me get to know you.
I'd like to meet you.
Let's get acquainted.
Let's get to know each other.
When contacting an institution by phone or in person, it becomes necessary to introduce yourself:
Let me introduce myself.
My last name is Sergeev.
My name is Valery Pavlovich.
Official and informal meetings of acquaintances and strangers begin with a greeting.
Official greeting formulas:
Hello!
Good afternoon
Unofficial greeting formulas:
Hello!
The initial formulas of communication are opposed to the formulas used at the end of communication; they express the wish: All the best (good)! or hope for a new meeting: See you tomorrow. Until the evening. Goodbye.
During communication, if there is a reason, people make invitations and express congratulations.
Invitation:
Let me invite you...
Come to the celebration (anniversary, meeting).
We'll be glad to see you.
Congratulation:
Let me congratulate you on...
Please accept my sincere (heartfelt, warm) congratulations...
Warm congratulations...
The expression of the request should be polite, delicate, but without excessive ingratiation:
Do me a favor...
If it’s not difficult for you (if it’s not difficult for you)…
Please be kind...
May I ask you...
I beg you very much...
Advice and suggestions should not be expressed in a categorical manner. It is advisable to formulate advice in the form of a delicate recommendation, a message about some important circumstances for the interlocutor:
Let me draw your attention to...
I would suggest you...
The wording of refusal to fulfill a request may be as follows:
- (I) cannot (unable, unable) to help (allow, assist).
It is currently not possible to do this.
Please understand that now is not the time to make such a request.
Sorry, but we (I) cannot fulfill your request.
I am forced to refuse (prohibit, not allow).
3. Interaction of speech and behavioral etiquette
Etiquette is closely related to ethics. Ethics prescribes the rules of moral behavior (including communication), etiquette presupposes certain manners of behavior and requires the use of external formulas of politeness, expressed in specific speech acts.
Compliance with etiquette requirements when violating ethical standards is hypocrisy and deception of others. On the other hand, completely ethical behavior that is not accompanied by adherence to the norms of etiquette will inevitably make an unpleasant impression and cause people to doubt the moral qualities of the individual.
In oral communication, it is necessary to observe a number of ethical and etiquette standards that are closely related to each other.
Firstly, you must treat your interlocutor with respect and kindness. It is prohibited to offend or insult your interlocutor with your speech, or to express disdain. Direct negative assessments of the communication partner’s personality should be avoided; only specific actions can be assessed, while maintaining the necessary tact. Rude words, a cheeky form of speech, an arrogant tone are unacceptable in intelligent communication. And from a practical point of view, such features of speech behavior are inappropriate, because never contribute to achieving the desired result in communication.
Politeness in communication presupposes an understanding of the situation, taking into account the age, gender, official and social status of the communication partner. These factors determine the degree of formality of communication, the choice of etiquette formulas, and the range of topics suitable for discussion.
Secondly, the speaker is instructed to be modest in self-assessments, not to impose his own opinions, and to avoid being too categorical in speech.
Moreover, it is necessary to put the communication partner in the center of attention, show interest in his personality, opinion, and take into account his interest in a particular topic.
It is also necessary to take into account the listener’s ability to perceive the meaning of your statements; it is advisable to give him time to rest and concentrate. For this reason, it is worth avoiding too long sentences, it is useful to take short pauses, and use speech formulas to maintain contact: you, of course, know...; you might be interested to know...; as you can see...; note…; should be noted... etc.
The norms of communication also determine the behavior of the listener.
First, you need to put other things aside to listen to the person. This rule is especially important for those specialists whose job is to serve clients.
When listening, you must treat the speaker with respect and patience, try to listen carefully and to the end. If you are very busy, it is permissible to ask to wait or reschedule the conversation for another time. In official communication, it is completely unacceptable to interrupt the interlocutor, insert various comments, especially those that sharply characterize the interlocutor’s proposals and requests. Like the speaker, the listener puts his interlocutor at the center of attention and emphasizes his interest in communicating with him. You should also be able to express your agreement or disagreement in a timely manner, answer a question, or ask your own question.
The rules of ethics and etiquette also apply to written speech.
An important issue in business letter etiquette is the choice of address. For standard letters on formal or minor occasions, the following address is suitable: Dear sir Petrov! For a letter to a superior, a letter of invitation or any other letter by important issue It is advisable to use the word “respected” and call the recipient by name and patronymic.
In business documents, it is necessary to skillfully use the capabilities of the grammatical system of the Russian language.
So, for example, the active voice of a verb is used when it is necessary to indicate actor. Passive voice It should be used when the fact of performing an action is more important than mentioning the persons who performed the action.
Perfect view The verb emphasizes the completeness of the action, and the imperfect indicates that the action is in the process of development.
In business correspondence, there is a tendency to avoid the pronoun I. The first person is expressed by the ending of the verb.
4. Speech distances and taboos
Distance in verbal communication is determined by age and social status. It is expressed in speech by using the pronouns you and you. Speech etiquette determines the rules for choosing one of these forms.
In general, the choice is dictated by a complex combination of external circumstances of communication and individual reactions of the interlocutors:
the degree of acquaintance of the partners (you - to an acquaintance, you - to a stranger);
the formality of the communication environment (you are informal, you are official);
the nature of the relationship (you are friendly, “warm”, you are emphatically polite or tense, aloof, “cold”);
equality or inequality of role relationships (by age, position: you are equal and inferior, you are equal and superior).
The choice of one of the forms of address depends not only on the formal position and age, but also on the nature of the relationship of the interlocutors, their disposition towards a certain degree of formality of the conversation, linguistic taste and habits.
Thus, the you is related, friendly, informal, intimate, trusting, familiar; You are polite, respectful, formal, aloof.
Depending on the form of address to you or you, there are grammatical forms of verbs, as well as speech formulas for greetings, farewells, congratulations, and expressions of gratitude.
A taboo is a prohibition on the use of certain words due to historical, cultural, ethical, socio-political or emotional factors.
Socio-political taboos are characteristic of speech practice in societies with an authoritarian regime. They may concern the names of certain organizations, mentions of certain persons disliked by the ruling regime (for example, opposition politicians, writers, scientists), certain phenomena of social life that are officially recognized as non-existent in a given society.
Cultural and ethical taboos exist in every society. It is clear that obscene language and mention of certain physiological phenomena and body parts are prohibited.
Neglect of ethical speech prohibitions is not only a gross violation of etiquette, but also a violation of the law.
Insult, that is, humiliation of the honor and dignity of another person, expressed in an indecent form, is considered by criminal law as a crime (Article 130 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation).
5. Compliments. Culture of criticism in verbal communication
An important advantage of a person in communication is the ability to make beautiful and appropriate compliments. When said tactfully and at the right time, a compliment lifts the mood of the recipient, setting him up for a positive attitude towards the interlocutor, towards his proposals, towards the common cause.
A compliment is said at the beginning of a conversation, during a meeting, acquaintance, parting, or during a conversation. A compliment is always nice. Only an insincere or overly enthusiastic compliment is dangerous.
A compliment can relate to appearance, excellent professional abilities, high morality, ability to communicate, contain general positive assessment:
You look good (excellent, wonderful, excellent, magnificent).
You are so (very) charming (smart, resourceful, reasonable, practical).
You are a good (excellent, excellent, excellent) specialist (economist, manager, entrepreneur).
You run (your) business (business, trade, construction) well (excellent, excellent, excellent).
You know how to lead (manage) people well (excellently) and organize them.
It’s a pleasure (good, excellent) to do business (work, cooperate) with you.
A culture of criticism is needed so that critical statements do not spoil the relationship with the interlocutor and allow him to explain his mistake.
To do this, one should criticize not the personality and qualities of the interlocutor, but specific errors in his work, the shortcomings of his proposals, the inaccuracy of his conclusions.
To ensure that criticism does not affect the feelings of the interlocutor, it is advisable to formulate comments in the form of reasoning, drawing attention to the discrepancy between the tasks of the work and the results obtained. It is useful to frame critical discussions of work as a joint search for solutions to complex problems.
Criticism of an opponent’s arguments in a dispute should be a comparison of these arguments with general provisions that do not raise doubts in the interlocutor, reliable facts, experimentally verified conclusions, and reliable statistical data.
Criticism of an opponent’s statements should not concern his personal qualities, abilities, or character.
Criticism of joint work by one of its participants should contain constructive proposals, criticism of the same work by an outsider can be reduced to pointing out shortcomings, since the development of solutions is the work of specialists, and assessment of the state of affairs and the effectiveness of the organization is the right of any citizen.
6. Nonverbal communication
When talking to each other, people use gestures and facial expressions along with verbal speech to convey their thoughts, moods, and desires.
The language of facial expressions and gestures allows the speaker to more fully express his feelings, shows how much control the participants in the dialogue have over themselves, and how they really relate to each other. The main indicator of the speaker’s feelings is his facial expression, his facial expressions.
In "Private Rhetoric" Prof. N. Koshansky (St. Petersburg, 1840) says: “Nowhere are the feelings of the soul reflected so much as in the facial features and gaze, the noblest part of our body. No science gives fire to the eyes and a lively blush to the cheeks if a cold soul sleeps in the speaker... The body movements of the speaker are always in secret agreement with the feeling of the soul, with the aspiration of the will, with the expression of the voice.”
Facial expressions allow us to better understand our interlocutor and figure out what feelings he is experiencing. Thus, raised eyebrows, wide open eyes, downturned lips, and a slightly open mouth indicate surprise; lowered eyebrows, curved wrinkles on the forehead, narrowed eyes, closed lips, clenched teeth express anger.
Sadness is reflected by knitted eyebrows, dull eyes, slightly lowered corners of the lips, and happiness is reflected by calm eyes and raised outer corners of the lips.
Gestures can also say a lot. Language is learned from childhood, and gestures are acquired naturally, and although no one explains their meaning in advance, speakers understand and use them correctly. This is explained by the fact that the gesture is most often used not on its own, but accompanies the word, serves as a kind of support for it, and sometimes clarifies it.
In the Russian language there are many stable expressions that arose on the basis of free phrases naming this or that gesture. Having become phraseological units, they express the state of a person, for example, lower your head, turn your head, raise your head, shake your head, the hand does not rise, spread your arms, lower your arms, wave your hand, put your hand, extend your hand, put your hand on your heart, wag your finger.
It is no coincidence that in various rhetorics, starting from ancient times, there were special chapters devoted to gestures. Theorists oratory in their articles and books about lecturing skills they addressed Special attention to gestures. Thus, A.F. Koni writes in “Advice for Lecturers”: “Gestures enliven speech, but they should be used carefully. An expressive gesture (raised hand, clenched fist, sharp and fast movement, etc.) must correspond to the meaning and meaning of a given phrase or individual word (here the gesture acts in conjunction with the tone, doubling the power of speech). Too frequent, monotonous, fussy, sharp movements of the hands are unpleasant, boring, boring and irritating.”
Mechanical gestures distract the listener’s attention from the content of speech and interfere with its perception. They are often the result of the speaker’s excitement and indicate his lack of self-confidence.
Gestures that have any useful meaning for communication are divided into rhythmic, emotional, indicative, pictorial and symbolic.
Rhythmic gestures are associated with the rhythm of speech; they emphasize logical stress, slowing and accelerating speech, the place of pauses, i.e. what intonation conveys in speech itself.
Emotional gestures convey various shades of feelings, for example, excitement, joy, sadness, annoyance, confusion, confusion.
Pointing gestures are required to distinguish one object from a number of similar ones, to indicate the place where the object is located, to indicate the order of objects. The pointing gesture is recommended to be used in very rare cases when there is an urgent need for it.
Figurative gestures appear in the following cases:
if there are not enough words to fully convey the idea;
if the words themselves are not enough due to the speaker’s increased emotionality, nervousness, lack of composure, uncertainty;
if it is necessary to enhance the impression and further influence the listener.
Fine gestures are used as a visual means of conveying thoughts; they should not replace verbal speech.
Symbolic gestures conventionally designate some typical situations and accompany the corresponding statements:
a gesture of intensity (the hand clenches into a fist) with the words: He is very persistent. How stubborn she is.
a gesture of refusal, denial (pushing movements with a hand or two hands, palms forward) along with the statements: No, no, please. No no.
a gesture of opposition (the hand makes movements “there” and “here” in the air) along with the words: There is no point in walking here and there. One window faces north, the other faces south.
gesture of separation, disassociation (palms open, move apart in different directions): This must be distinguished. These are completely different things. They separated.
gesture of unification, addition, sum (fingers join into a pinch or the palms of the hands join): They worked well together. They suit each other very well. What if we put this together? Let's join forces.
7. Ergonomics of the environment as an integral part of speech etiquette
The first thing people notice when they come to an appointment, interview, meeting, or business meeting is the external environment of the room in which any issues will be resolved. The results of the conversation and negotiations partly depend on what the office looks like.
Competent construction of space requires adherence to a single style in the design of the room: in the planning solution, in decoration, decor, furniture.
A properly and tastefully planned office helps create a favorable environment for conversation, which contributes to the establishment of fruitful contact.
This, of course, applies not only to offices. Special requirements apply to other premises. A convenient and aesthetic layout should be in the reception area, in departmental premises, in classrooms, and in document storage areas.
Appearance any room must correspond to its functional purpose, give the impression of a reasonably organized business environment. Furniture and its arrangement should be convenient for employees and visitors.
Bibliography
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Vvedenskaya L.A., Pavlova L.G., Kashaeva E.Yu. Russian language and culture of speech. - Rostov-on-Don: 2000.
Goykhman O.Ya., Nadeina T.M. Speech communication. - M.: 2000.
Gorbachevich K.S. Norms of modern Russian literary language. - M., 1989.
Ivanova-Lukyanova G.N. Oral culture. - M., 1998.
Klyuev E.V. Speech communication: success of speech interaction. - M., 2002.
Kokhtev N.N. Rhetoric. - M.: 1994.
Kuznetsov I.N. Rhetoric. - Minsk: 2000.
Kurbatov V.I. The art of managing communication. - Rostov-on-Don: 1997.
Lemmerman H. Textbook of rhetoric. Speech training with exercises. - M.: 1997.
Leontyev A.A. What is language? - M.: 1976.
Mikhailichenko N.A. Rhetoric. - M.: 1994.
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SPEECH ETIQUETTE , a set of requirements for the form, content, order, nature and situational relevance of statements accepted in a given culture. The famous researcher of speech etiquette N.I. Formanovskaya gives the following definition:« Speech etiquette refers to the regulating rules of speech behavior, a system of nationally specific stereotypical, stable communication formulas accepted and prescribed by society to establish contact between interlocutors, maintain and interrupt contact in the chosen tonality» . Speech etiquette, in particular, includes words and expressions used by people to say goodbye, requests, apologies, forms of address accepted in various situations, intonation features that characterize polite speech, etc. The study of speech etiquette occupies a special position at the intersection of linguistics, theory and history of culture, ethnography, regional studies, psychology and other humanities disciplines.Boundaries of the phenomenon of speech etiquette. In the broad sense of the word, speech etiquette characterizes almost any successful act of communication. Therefore, speech etiquette is associated with the so-called postulates of speech communication, which make the interaction of communication participants possible and successful. These are postulates formulated by G. P. Grice (1975), which are derived from the principle of cooperation underlying all communication. The postulates of verbal communication include: the postulates of quality (the message should not be false or without proper basis), quantity (the message should not be too short or too lengthy), relationship (the message should be relevant to the addressee) and method ( the message must be clear, precise, not contain words and expressions that are incomprehensible to the addressee, etc.). Violation of one or more of these postulates to one degree or another entails a communicative failure. Other important requirements for example, the postulates of politeness (every message must be polite, tactful, etc.) are not included by Grice among the fundamental ones, since the task of the message is considered to be the effective transfer of information. It is significant that even with such a utilitarian formulation of the problem, one has to consider the requirements of speech etiquette as the necessary conditions successful communication. These requirements are especially important for messages that have other functions: establishing interpersonal contacts, attracting listeners to your side, etc. In these cases, the tenets of politeness inevitably come to the fore. Others, such as relational postulates, are pushed to the periphery. Thus, in many advertising textbooks it is recommended to refrain not only from any statements that insult or offend the addressee, but also from statements that could cause undesirable associations in him. For example, sloganOur beer beer , that doesn't make you fat was considered unsuccessful because it recalls the very fact that beer makes you fat. Thus, the requirements of relevance and truthfulness are secondary in this case.Thus, speech etiquette in a broad sense is associated with the general problems of linguistic pragmatics
and should be considered in line with pragmalinguistic research. The act of linguistic communication is considered by pragmatics from the point of view of the achievement of certain goals by the participants in communication. The statement is not considered in isolation, but in the context of these goals; for example, questionYou don't have a watch ? implies a request to say what time it is. Therefore the answerYes , There is (without telling what time it is) ignores the context and thereby violates the requirements of speech etiquette. Or:What's going on here ? a question (especially in a certain context) can indicate aggressive dissatisfaction with what is happening and, as such, violate etiquette.The sphere of speech etiquette includes, in particular, ways of expressing sympathy, complaints, guilt, grief, etc., accepted in a given culture. For example, in some cultures it is customary to complain about difficulties and problems, in others it is not customary. In some cultures, talking about your successes is acceptable, in others it is not at all. This may also include specific instructions for speech etiquette: what can serve as a subject of conversation, what cannot, and in what situation.
Speech etiquette in the narrow sense of the word can be characterized as a system of linguistic means in which etiquette relations are manifested. Elements of this system can be implemented at different language levels:
At the level of vocabulary and phraseology: special words and set expressions (Thank you , Please , I'm sorry , Sorry , Goodbye etc.), as well as specialized forms of address (Mister , Comrade and so on.).At the grammatical level: using the plural for polite address (including pronouns
You ); using interrogative sentences instead of imperative sentences (You will not say , what time is it now ? Could you move a little ? and so on.).At the stylistic level: the requirement of competent, cultural speech; refusal to use words that directly name obscene and shocking objects and phenomena, using euphemisms instead of these words.
At the intonation level: the use of polite intonation (for example, the phrase
Please be kind , close the door may sound with different intonation depending on whether it is intended to be a polite request or an unceremonious demand). At the level of orthoepy: useHello instead of Hello , Please instead of Please etc.At the organizational and communicative level: a ban on interrupting the interlocutor, interfering in someone else’s conversation, etc.
Everyday language practice and norms in speech etiquette. The specificity of speech etiquette is that it characterizes both everyday language practice and the language norm. Indeed, elements of speech etiquette are present in the everyday practice of any native speaker (including those with poor command of the norm), who easily recognizes these formulas in the flow of speech and expects their interlocutor to use them in certain situations. Elements of speech etiquette are absorbed so deeply that they are perceived"naive" linguistic consciousness as part of the everyday, natural and regular behavior of people. Ignorance of the requirements of speech etiquette and, as a consequence, failure to comply with them (for example, addressing an adult stranger inYou ) is perceived as a desire to offend or as bad manners.On the other hand, speech etiquette can be considered from the point of view of linguistic norms. Thus, the idea of correct, cultural, standardized speech also includes certain ideas of the norm in the field of speech etiquette. For example, every native speaker knows the formulas for apologizing for awkwardness; however, the norm is that some are welcomed (
excuse me , I'm sorry ) and others are rejected or not recommended, e.g.I'm sorry (and sometimes such a distinction is given"justification" like: you can’t apologize to yourself, you can only ask for an apology from others, etc.). The very use or non-use of units of speech etiquette can also be the subject of normalization, for example: apology formulas are appropriate if the speaker is causing concern to his interlocutor, but one should not apologize too often, since this puts the interlocutor in an awkward position, etc. In addition, violation norms and rules of the literary language, especially if it looks like negligence, can in itself be considered a violation of speech etiquette.So, the requirements of speech etiquette form a kind of hierarchy. To some extent, they are an integral part of the active and passive language practice of every native speaker; on the other hand, these requirements are associated with a certain level of speech culture, more or less high. For example, every native speaker knows from an early age that it is necessary to say hello when meeting. Next, the child is explained that he must greet in accordance with certain rules (the youngest greets the elder first, using quite specific formulas for this not
Hello or Great, A Hello , or better: Hello , Ivan Ivanovich ). Finally, in the future, a native speaker will learn about other subtleties of speech etiquette and learn to use them in their daily practice.The boundary between everyday speech practice and the norm in speech etiquette is inevitably fluid. The practical application of speech etiquette is always somewhat different from normative models, and not only because of the participants’ insufficient knowledge of its rules. Deviation from the norm or overly meticulous adherence to it may be due to the speaker’s desire to demonstrate his attitude towards the interlocutor or to emphasize his vision of the situation. In the example below, the polite form is used to emphasize the boss's dissatisfaction with his subordinate:
Hello, Lyubov Grigorievna ! he said in a disgustingly gallant manner. You are delayed ? … >What scared her the most was
, that they contact her on « You » , by first name and patronymic. This made everything that happened extremely ambiguous , because if Lyubochka was late, that was one thing , and if rationalization engineer Lyubov Grigorievna Sukhoruchko is completely different. (V.O. Pelevin, “News from Nepal.”)Thus, speech etiquette is not a rigid system of rules; it is quite plastic, and this plasticity creates a fairly extensive
« room for maneuver» . Speech etiquette and speech situation. Speech etiquette is one way or another tied to the situation of verbal communication and its parameters: the personalities of the interlocutors, the topic, place, time, motive and purpose of communication. First of all, it represents a complex of linguistic phenomena focused on the addressee, although the personality of the speaker (or writer) is also taken into account. This can best be demonstrated by usingYou- And You -forms in communication. The general principle is thatYou -forms are used as a sign of respect and greater formality of communication;You -forms, on the contrary, correspond to informal communication between equals. However, the implementation of this principle may involve various options depending on how the participants in verbal communication are related by age and/or service hierarchy, whether they are in family or friendly relationships; on the age and social status of each of them andetc.Speech etiquette also reveals itself differently depending on the topic, place, time, motive and purpose of communication. So, for example, the rules of verbal communication may differ depending on whether the topic of communication is sad or joyful events for the participants in the communication; There are specific etiquette rules associated with the place of communication (feast, public place, production meeting), etc.
Researchers describe a whole range of communicative functions of speech etiquette. Here are some of them. Speech etiquette:
promotes the establishment of contact between interlocutors;
attracts the attention of the listener (reader), distinguishes him from other potential interlocutors;
allows you to show respect;
helps determine the status of ongoing communication (friendly, business, official, etc.);
creates a favorable emotional environment for communication and has a positive impact on the listener (reader).
Place of specialized units of speech etiquette in the language system. Speech etiquette is implemented both in the characteristics of speech in general and in specialized units. These units formulas of greeting, farewell, apology, request, etc., as a rule, are performatives (i.e. statements, the utterance of which simultaneously means the commission of the named action;see also SPEECH ACT). Indeed, phrasesI apologize , Thank you , I ask you to and so on. do not describe actions, but are themselves actions , respectively, an apology, gratitude, request, etc.Units of speech etiquette are regularly correlated with cognate or synonymous words and constructions that do not have an etiquette character, for example:
Thank you very much. He thanked me warmly . And finally, one cannot help but notice that speech etiquette often fits into the broader context of the pragmatics of behavior in typical situations. For example, the whole complex is associated with stable apology formulas« speech-behavioral tactics for erasing a tort» (E.M. Vereshchagin, V.G. Kostomarov) in other words, the entire range of speech models used by the speaker or writer to overcome guilt. So next to the stable formulaexcuse me it is necessary to place other more or less stable formulas:There's nothing for me to apologize for ! I couldn't do otherwise ! My offense is not that big ! Oh , what should I do , You will never forgive me now ! etc. Thus, in a stable apology formula, a native speaker can isolate certain semantic elements at any time.Social differentiation of speech etiquette phenomena. The phenomena of speech etiquette vary depending on the social status of the participants in communication. These differences manifest themselves in several ways.First of all, various units of speech etiquette are used depending on the social roles assumed by the participants in communication. Here, both the social roles themselves and their relative position in the social hierarchy are important. When communicating between two students; between student and teacher; between superior and subordinate; between spouses; between parents and children in each individual case, etiquette requirements can be very different. Some units are replaced by others, functionally homogeneous, but stylistically opposed. So, in the situations listed above, different greeting formulas may be appropriate:
Hello , Hello , Hello , Hello , Ivan Ivanovich . Other units of speech etiquette are mandatory in some cases and optional in others. For example, when calling on the phone at an inopportune time, you need to apologize for disturbing you; you just shouldn’t apologize when making a phone call, however, if it is not the recipient of the call who answers the phone, but stranger, especially if he is older, it would also be appropriate to apologize for disturbing him, etc.These aspects of speech behavior are also influenced by differences in the use of units of speech etiquette among representatives of different social groups. Many specialized units and general manifestations speech etiquette differ in their stable attachment to certain social groups of native speakers. These groups can be distinguished according to the following criteria:
age: speech etiquette formulas associated with youth slang (Hello , Ciao , Goodbye ); specific forms of politeness in the speech of older people (Thank you , Do me a favor );education and upbringing: more educated and well-mannered people tend to use units of speech etiquette more accurately and use them more widely
You -forms, etc.;gender: women, on average, gravitate towards more polite speech, are less likely to use rude, abusive and obscene language, and are more scrupulous in choosing topics;
belonging to specific professional groups.
Speech etiquette and stylistic problems. Stylistic differences in the use of speech etiquette units are largely determined by the belonging of speech to various functional styles. In fact, each functional style has its own etiquette rules. For example, business speech is characterized by a high degree of formality: participants in communication, persons and objects about which we're talking about, are called by their full official names. IN scientific speech a rather complex system of etiquette requirements has been adopted, determining the order of presentation, references to predecessors and objections to opponents (somewhat archaic manifestations of scientific speech etiquette undoubtedly includeWe-forms: We have already shown above … including on behalf of one author). In addition, different functional styles may correspond to special forms of address (for example, addressColleagues in scientific speech).The contrast between written and oral speech is also important. Written speech, as a rule, belongs to one or another functional style; on the contrary, oral speech tends to blur stylistic boundaries. As an example, we can compare written documents of legal proceedings and oral statements in court by litigants and their representatives: in the latter case, there are constant departures from the functional style, less formalized language, etc.
Units of speech etiquette, due to their socio-stylistic markings and widespread use in speech practice, significantly expand the expressive and stylistic resources of the language. This can be used both in everyday speech and in fiction. By using certain units of speech etiquette, you can achieve various goals, you can express your emotions and provoke an emotional reaction in your communication partner. In fiction, the use of marked units of speech etiquette often serves to create a character’s speech characteristics. For example, in the novel by A.N. Tolstoy
" Peter the First " Queen Evdokia's letter contains the following etiquette formulas:To my sovereign , joy , Tsar Peter Alekseevich … Hello , my light , for many years… > Your groom , Dunka , hits with his forehead … Wed. addresses used by Peter's mistress Anna Mons:bow from Anna Mons: recovered , has become even more beautiful and asks Herr Peter to accept two citrons as a gift . Obscene and shocking words and expressions. Prohibitions on the use of obscene and shocking words and expressions may be combined with recommendations or instructions to replace them with euphemisms (see also EUPHEMISM).This applies to actually obscene words and expressions and those that too directly name objects and phenomena that it is not customary to talk about directly in a given culture. The same expressions may be considered prohibited in some groups and acceptable in others. In the same group, the use of swear words may be considered acceptable, or at least excusable; however, the severity of the prohibition increases sharply in the presence of women, children, etc.Etiquette requirements for the intonation of statements. Among the etiquette requirements for oral speech are: important place takes into account the intonation of the statement. A native speaker accurately identifies the entire range of intonations from emphatically polite to dismissive. However, it is hardly possible to determine which intonation corresponds to speech etiquette and which goes beyond it, in general terms, without taking into account the specific speech situation. Thus, in Russian speech there are (following E.A. Bryzgunova) seven main “intonation structures” (i.e. types of phrasal intonation). Pronouncing the same utterance with different intonation (accordingly, the implementation of different intonation structures) expresses different oppositions: in meaning, in actual division, in stylistic shades, and including in expressing the attitude of the speaker to the listener. This relationship determines which intonation structure should be used in a given case and which should not. Thus, in accordance with etiquette rules, intonation should not indicate a dismissive or patronizing attitude, an intention to lecture the interlocutor, aggression or challenge. This is especially true for various kinds of interrogative statements. For example, the same question:Where were you last night ? allows for different intonation depending on who and by whom this question is addressed: the boss the subordinate, the representative of the investigative authorities the suspect; one friend to another; one interlocutor to another during small talk“about nothing”, etc. Paralinguistic aspects of speech etiquette. In addition to intonation, oral speech is distinguished from written speech by the use of paralinguistic signs - gestures and facial expressions. From the point of view of speech etiquette, the following paralinguistic signs are distinguished:not carrying a specific etiquette load (duplicating or replacing segments of speech - indicating, expressing agreement and denial, emotions, etc.);
required by etiquette rules (bows, handshakes, etc.);
having an invective, offensive meaning.
At the same time, the regulation of gestures and facial expressions covers not only the last two categories of signs, but also signs of a non-etiquette nature up to purely informative ones; cf., for example, the etiquette prohibition of pointing a finger at the subject of speech.
In addition, the requirements of speech etiquette can extend to the paralinguistic level of communication in general. For example, in Russian speech etiquette it is prescribed to refrain from too animated facial expressions and gestures, as well as from gestures and facial movements that imitate elementary physiological reactions.
It is significant that the same gestures and facial movements can have different meanings in different linguistic cultures. This poses an urgent task for methodologists and foreign language teachers to describe the features of gestures and facial expressions in the language culture being studied. Attempts are also being made to create dictionaries of gestures, facial expressions and postures. Differences in the etiquette meaning of gestures and facial expressions are studied in the broad context of the study of systems of gestural and facial communication (
see also GESTURAL COMMUNICATION). Speech etiquette in historical and ethnocultural perspective. It is impossible to name a linguistic culture in which etiquette requirements for speech activity would not be presented. The origins of speech etiquette lie in the most ancient period of the history of language. In an archaic society, speech etiquette (like etiquette in general) has a ritual background. The word is given special meaning, associated with magical and ritual ideas, the relationship between man and cosmic forces. Therefore, human speech activity, from the point of view of members of archaic society, can have a direct impact on people, animals and the world; The regulation of this activity is connected, first of all, with the desire to cause certain events (or, conversely, to avoid them). Relics of this state are preserved in various units of speech etiquette; for example, many stable formulas represent ritual wishes that were once perceived as effective:Hello (Also be healthy ); Thank you(from God bless ). Similarly, many prohibitions on the use of words and constructions that are modern language are considered abusive and go back to archaic prohibitions and taboos.The most ancient ideas about the effectiveness of the word are superimposed by later layers associated with various stages in the evolution of society and its structure, with religious beliefs, etc. Of particular note is the rather complex system of speech etiquette in hierarchical societies, where the rules of speech communication fit into the semiotics of the social hierarchy. An example is the court of an absolute monarch (medieval East, Europe at the turn of the Modern Age). In such societies, etiquette norms became the subject of training and codification and played a dual role: they allowed the speaker to express respect for the interlocutor and at the same time emphasize the sophistication of his own upbringing. The role in the formation of a new, Europeanized elite, which was played in the Peter the Great era and subsequent decades by manuals on etiquette, including speech, is well known:
An honest mirror of youth , Examples of how to write different compliments .In the speech etiquette of almost all nations it is possible to distinguish common features; Thus, almost all nations have stable formulas for greeting and farewell, forms of respectful address to elders, etc. However, these features are implemented in each culture in its own way. As a rule, the most extensive system of requirements exists in traditional cultures. At the same time, with a certain degree of convention, we can say that the understanding of speech etiquette by its speakers goes through several stages. A closed traditional culture is characterized by the absolutization of etiquette requirements for behavior in general and for speech behavior in particular. A person with a different speech etiquette is perceived here as a poorly educated or immoral person, or as an insulter. In societies that are more open to external contacts, there is usually a more developed understanding of the differences in speech etiquette among different peoples, and the skills of imitating someone else’s speech behavior can even be a source of pride for a member of the society.
In modern, especially urban culture, the culture of industrial and post-industrial society, the place of speech etiquette is radically rethought. On the one hand, the traditional foundations of this phenomenon are being eroded: mythological and religious beliefs, ideas about an unshakable social hierarchy, etc. Speech etiquette is now considered in a purely pragmatic aspect, as a means of achieving a communicative goal: to attract the attention of the interlocutor, to demonstrate respect to him, to arouse sympathy, to create a comfortable climate for communication. The relics of hierarchical representations are also subject to these tasks; cf., for example, circulation history
Mister and corresponding addresses in other languages: an element of speech etiquette, which once arose as a sign of the social status of the addressee, subsequently becomes a national form of polite address.On the other hand, speech etiquette remains an important part of the national language and culture. Impossible to talk about high level possessions foreign language, if this proficiency does not include knowledge of the rules of speech communication and the ability to apply these rules in practice. It is especially important to have an understanding of the differences in national speech etiquettes. For example, each language has its own system of address, which has been formed over centuries. When translated literally, the meaning of these addresses is sometimes distorted; yes, English
Dear is used in official addresses, while its corresponding RussianExpensive usually used in less formal situations. Or another example in many Western cultures when askedHow are you ? should answer:Fine. Answer Badly or Not good is considered indecent: the interlocutor should not impose his problems. In Russia, it is customary to answer the same question neutrally, rather with a negative connotation:Nothing ; Little by little . Differences in speech etiquette and in general in systems of rules of speech behavior fall within the competence of a special discipline - linguistic and regional studies.LITERATURE Vereshchagin E.M., Kostomarov V.G.Language and culture: Linguistic and regional studies in teaching Russian as a foreign language . M., 1983Formanovskaya N.I.Russian speech etiquette: linguistic and methodological aspects . M., 1987
Bayburin A.K., Toporkov A.L.At the origins of etiquette: Ethnographic essays . L., 1990
A person’s speech is a very important characterological feature; it can be used to determine not only the level of education, but also the degree of his responsibility and discipline. His speech reveals his attitude towards other people, himself, and his business. Therefore, any person who wants to achieve success in communicating with other people needs to work on their speech. Rules of speech etiquette, summary which each of us learns in childhood, contribute to better mutual understanding between people and help establish relationships.
The concept of speech etiquette
Etiquette is a set of norms and rules of behavior, usually an unwritten code that each person learns along with culture. Compliance with the rules of speech etiquette is usually not required by anyone to follow in an order or in writing, but they are mandatory for everyone who wants to improve relationships with other people. Speech etiquette prescribes the desired verbal presentation of typical communication situations. No one came up with these rules intentionally; they were formed in the course of human communication over thousands of years. Each label formula has its own roots, functions and variations. Speech etiquette and etiquette rules are a sign of a well-mannered and polite person and subconsciously set up a positive perception of the person using them.
History of origin
The word "etiquette" in French came from Greece. Etymologically, it goes back to the root meaning order, rule. In France, the word was used to refer to a special card on which the rules of seating and behavior at the royal table were prescribed. But during the time of Louis XIV the phenomenon of etiquette itself, of course, did not arise; it had a much more ancient origin. The rules of speech etiquette, a brief summary of which can be described by the phrase “successful communication,” begin to take shape when people had to learn to establish relationships and negotiate with each other. Already in ancient times, there were rules of behavior that helped interlocutors overcome mutual mistrust and establish interaction. Thus, the code of good behavior is described in the texts of the ancient Greeks and Egyptians. In ancient times, etiquette rules were a kind of ritual that suggested to interlocutors that they were “of the same blood” and that they did not pose a threat. Each ritual had a verbal and non-verbal component. Gradually, the original meaning of many actions is lost, but the ritual and its verbal presentation are preserved and continue to be reproduced.
Functions of speech etiquette
Modern people often have a question about what are the rules of speech etiquette for? The short answer is to please other people. Main function speech etiquette - establishing contact. When the interlocutor follows general rules, this makes him more understandable and predictable; we subconsciously trust more what is familiar to us. This goes back to primitive times, when the world around was very uncertain and there were dangers from everywhere; observance of rituals was then extremely important. And when the communication partner performed a familiar set of actions and said the right words, this removed some of the mistrust and facilitated contact. Today, our genetic memory also tells us that a person who follows the rules can be trusted more. The rules and norms of speech etiquette perform the function of creating a positive emotional atmosphere and help to have a favorable influence on the interlocutor. Speech etiquette also acts as a means of demonstrating respect for the interlocutor, helps to emphasize the status distribution of roles between communicants and the status of the communication situation itself - business, informal, friendly. Thus, the rules of speech etiquette are a tool. Part of the tension is relieved by simple etiquette formulas. Speech etiquette, as a formal part of ethics, performs a regulatory function; it helps to establish contacts and influences the behavior of people in typical situations.
Types of speech etiquette
Like any speech, etiquette speech behavior is very different in its written and oral form. The written version has more stringent rules, and in this form etiquette formulas are more mandatory. The oral form is more democratic; some omissions or replacement of words with actions are allowed here. For example, sometimes instead of saying “Hello,” you can get by with a nod of the head or a slight bow.
Etiquette dictates the rules of behavior in certain areas and situations. It is customary to distinguish several different types of speech etiquette. Official, business or professional speech etiquette determines the rules of speech behavior when performing job responsibilities, during negotiations, when preparing documents. This type is quite highly formalized, especially in its written form. The rules of Russian speech etiquette in formal and informal settings can be very different; the first signal of a transition from one type of etiquette to another may be a change from addressing “You” to addressing “you.” Everyday speech etiquette is characterized by greater freedom than official etiquette; there is greater variability in key etiquette formulas. There are also such types of speech etiquette as diplomatic, military and religious.
Principles of modern speech etiquette
Any rules of behavior are based on universal principles of morality, and speech etiquette is no exception. Golden Rule Speech etiquette is based on the main moral principle formulated by I. Kant: act towards others as you would like them to act towards you. Thus, polite speech should include formulas that the person himself would be pleased to hear. The basic principles of speech etiquette are appropriateness, precision, brevity and correctness. The speaker must select speech formulas in accordance with the situation, the status of the interlocutor, and the degree of familiarity with him. In any case, you should speak as briefly as possible, but not lose the meaning of what was said. And, of course, the speaker must respect his communication partner and try to construct his statement in accordance with the rules of the Russian language. Speech etiquette is built on two more important principles: goodwill and cooperation. A polite person treats other people with an initial attitude of goodness; he must be sincere and friendly. Communicators must do everything on both sides to ensure that communication is productive, mutually beneficial and enjoyable for all participants.
Etiquette situations
Etiquette regulates behavior in various situations. Traditionally, speech differs significantly in formal settings and in everyday life, as well as in different forms of its existence: written or oral. However, there are general rules of speech etiquette in various speech situations. The list of such cases is the same for any sphere, culture and form. Standard etiquette situations include:
Greetings;
Attracting attention and appeal;
Introduction and introduction;
Invitation;
Offer;
Request;
Gratitude;
Refusal and consent;
Congratulations;
Condolences;
Sympathy and comfort;
Compliment.
Each etiquette situation has a stable set of speech formulas that are recommended for use.
National features of etiquette
Speech etiquette is based on universal, universal moral principles. Therefore, its basis is the same in all cultures. Such universal principles, characteristic of all countries, include restraint in the expression of emotions, politeness, literacy and the ability to use standard speech formulas appropriate to the situation, positive attitude to the interlocutor. But the private implementation of universal human norms can vary significantly in different national cultures. Variability usually manifests itself in the speech design of a standard situation. The general culture of communication influences national speech etiquette. The rules of etiquette, for example, in Russian require maintaining a conversation even with strangers, if you happened to be in a confined space with them (in a train compartment), while the Japanese and the British will try to remain silent in the same circumstances or talk about the most neutral topics. In order not to get into trouble when communicating with foreigners, you should, when preparing for a meeting, familiarize yourself with their etiquette rules.
Contact situation
The basic rules of speech etiquette at the beginning of a conversation are related to the speech format of greetings and addresses. For the Russian language, the main greeting formula is the word “hello”. Its synonyms can be the phrases “I greet you” with an archaic connotation and “good afternoon, morning, evening”, which are more sincere compared to the basic formulation. The greeting stage is one of the most important in establishing contact; words should be pronounced with sincere intonation, with a hint of positive emotionality.
The means of attracting attention are the words: “let me/permit me to address”, “excuse me”, “excuse me” and adding an explanatory phrase to them: ideas, requests, suggestions.
Treatment situation
Addressing is one of the difficult etiquette situations, since it can be difficult to choose the appropriate name for the person to whom you need to address. In the Russian language today, the address “Mister/Madam” is considered universal, but in speech they do not always take root well due to the negative connotations in Soviet times. The best way to address someone is by first name or patronymic, but this is not always possible. Worst option: using the words “girl”, “woman”, “man”. In a situation of professional communication, you can address the person by the name of the person’s position, for example, “Mr. Director.” General rules Speech etiquette can be briefly described as the desire for the comfort of communicants. In no case should the address indicate any personal characteristics (age, nationality, faith).
Contact termination situation
The final stage in communication is also very important; the interlocutors will remember it and you need to try to leave a positive impression. The usual rules of speech etiquette, examples of which we know from childhood, recommend using traditional phrases for saying goodbye: “goodbye,” “see you later,” “farewell.” However, the final stage should also include words of gratitude for the time spent communicating, perhaps for working together. You can also additionally express hopes for continued cooperation and say parting words. Speech etiquette and etiquette rules recommend maintaining a favorable impression when completing a contact, creating an emotional atmosphere of sincerity and warmth. This is helped more firmly by the formula: “it was very pleasant to communicate with you, I hope for further cooperation.” But cliched phrases must be pronounced as sincerely and with feeling as possible so that they acquire true meaning. Otherwise, farewell will not leave the desired emotional response in the memory of the interlocutor.
Rules for introduction and dating
The dating situation requires resolving the issue of conversion. Business communication and contacts with unfamiliar people require addressing as “You”. According to the rules of speech etiquette, “you” is allowed only within the framework of friendly and everyday communication. The introduction is formalized by such phrases as “let me introduce you,” “please introduce me,” “let me introduce you.” The presenter also gives brief description to the person being represented: “position, full name, place of work, or some particularly noteworthy detail.” Acquaintances must, in addition to voicing their name, say positive words: “glad to meet you,” “very nice.”
Rules of congratulations and gratitude
Modern rules of speech etiquette in the Russian language offer a fairly wide range of formulas for From simple “thank you” and “thank you” to “infinitely grateful” and “very grateful”. It is customary to add an additional positive phrase to words of gratitude for a great service or gift, for example, “very nice,” “I’m touched,” “you’re so kind.” There are extremely many congratulation formulas. When writing a congratulation on any occasion, it is worth thinking about individual words, in addition to the usual “congratulations,” that would emphasize the specificity of the occasion and the personality of the person being honored. The text of the congratulation must include any wishes; it is advisable that they are not template, but correspond to the personality of the hero of the occasion. Congratulations should be pronounced with a special feeling, which will give the words greater value.
Rules of invitation, offer, request, consent and refusal
When inviting someone to take part in something, you should also follow the rules of speech etiquette. The situations of invitation, offer and request are somewhat similar; in them, the speaker always slightly reduces the status of his role in communication and emphasizes the importance of the interlocutor. A stable expression of invitation is the phrase “we have the honor to invite,” which notes the special importance of the invitee. For invitation, offer and request, the words “please”, “please”, “please” are used. In the invitation and proposal, you can additionally say about your feelings towards the invitee: “we will be glad/happy to see you”, “we are pleased to offer you.” A request is a situation in which the speaker deliberately reduces his position in communication, but you should not overdo it; the traditional form of a request is the words: “I ask you,” “could you please.” Consent and refusal require different verbal behavior. If consent can be extremely laconic, then refusal must be accompanied by softening and motivating formulations, for example, “unfortunately, we are forced to refuse your proposal, since at the moment ....”
Rules of condolences, sympathy and apologies
In dramatic and tragic etiquette, the rules of etiquette recommend expressing only sincere feelings. Typically, regret and sympathy should be accompanied by encouraging words, for example, “we sympathize with you in connection ... and sincerely hope that ....” Condolences are offered only for truly tragic reasons; it is also appropriate to talk about your feelings and offer help. For example, “I offer you my sincere condolences for... this loss has left me with bitter feelings. If necessary, you can count on me."
Rules of approval and praise
Compliments are an important part of establishing a good relationship, these social strokes are an effective tool in establishing a good relationship. But giving compliments is an art. What distinguishes them from flattery is the degree of exaggeration. A compliment is just a slight exaggeration of the truth. The rules of speech etiquette in the Russian language state that compliments and praise should always refer to a person, and not to things, therefore the words: “how does this dress suit you” are a violation of the rules of etiquette, and a real compliment would be the phrase: “how beautiful you are in this dress". You can and should praise people for everything: for skills, character traits, for performance results, for feelings.
In order to always be on top and not lose face, it is worth knowing the basic rules of speech etiquette perfectly. In the Russian language, like in any other culture in the world, there are certain subtleties and features of speech etiquette. Yes, there are not so few of them. However, knowledge of the rules of behavior in various speech situations will help you make brilliant speeches, negotiate, and conduct personal conversations. You will learn to negotiate and avoid various incidental situations that may cast doubt on your reputation.
What is speech etiquette?
It’s worth starting with what the term “speech etiquette” itself means. Do you need to draw up rules of speech etiquette for yourself or is there a specific written set of norms?
In short: speech etiquette usually means the ability to communicate politely and tactfully.
If you constantly use these rules in everyday life, you can easily build a good relationship with colleagues, neighbors, relatives, partners, friends, etc.
In short, speech culture behavior is not only a set of certain norms. This is also everyday communication. In a way, this is also a litmus test that allows you to determine at the first communication how literate, polite, and tactful a person is. The level of speech etiquette helps to assess the social status and level of human development.
Despite the fact that every country, every culture has its own rules, which help us understand what kind of person he is, it is very difficult to outline all the rules of speech etiquette - there are so many of them.
Basic rules of speech etiquette
The main, basic rules of speech etiquette in the Russian language are varied. But it won’t be difficult for you to understand them if you grew up in this country and you were instilled with basic formulations or “starting formulas” from childhood. What it is? It's actually not that complicated.
By starting formulas, linguists and psychologists usually mean habit:
- greet the interlocutor correctly and in accordance with the situation;
- be sure to say goodbye;
- thank you for the help offered;
- apologize.
Many people learned such norms at an early age. But over the years, a person develops his own rules of speech etiquette, which he strives to follow strictly. What does this mean? It’s not that adults can be rude to their interlocutor or say a bad word. Not at all like that! With experience, a person learns to politely carry on a conversation even if he has little knowledge of the topic.
It is important here not to abruptly interrupt the conversation or abandon it. This is uncivilized! Also, over the years, we learn to express our point of view competently and correctly. Even if it does not coincide with generally accepted standards, it is important to convey it politely.
The main stages of each speech situation
Following the basic rules of speech etiquette, every person should understand that any conversation is divided into 3 stages:
- Introduction (or greeting).
- Main part.
- Conclusion.
Each stage has certain characteristics. It would seem that everyone knows what rules of speech etiquette “work” in the first part of the conversation. But still, it wouldn’t hurt to repeat them. It is very important to choose the right phrases for greetings. They depend on your interlocutor. His age, social status, and gender should be taken into account. But there are no clear frameworks and restrictions here. That is, we can say “ Good morning!", "Hi Hello!". The first and last options are universal. They are applicable in any situation. After all, their meaning indicates a polite attitude. "Hello!" and similar phrases are permissible only in dialogue with friends and some relatives.
There are also no uniform formulas for communication in the main part of the conversation. A lot depends on the situation, the goals of the conversation and many other factors. To decide on the line of conduct and the rules of speech etiquette, you need to know the facts, that is, the interlocutor himself and the essence of the conversation.
Another important aspect- a well-formed conclusion. There are also certain subtleties here. According to general norms, it is customary to say goodbye and discuss the possibility of a next meeting. There are also universal phrases here. If you don’t know how to end a conversation in a particular situation, then use generally accepted wording. These could be variations of “All the best!” or “Goodbye!”
Principles of speech etiquette
Speech etiquette is based on certain principles. There is nothing difficult in understanding them, since all these are generally accepted moral principles and values.
Accordingly, when conducting any conversation, you should rely on a respectful attitude towards the interlocutor, do not interrupt him, do not raise your voice, do not shout, do not insult, do not speak in parallel.
It would seem that everything is elementary simple. But it’s still worth highlighting the basic principles of the rules of speech behavior in the Russian language:
- brevity;
- politeness;
- accuracy;
- literacy;
- relevance.
These are the main components of successful communication in a business environment and in everyday interpersonal interaction.
Goodwill and readiness for mutual cooperation are the basics of etiquette. If you follow these laws, then nice talking you are guaranteed. In addition, this approach provides the opportunity to clearly agree on productive cooperation.
It is important to be able to select phrases that are appropriate in a given situation. In this case, it is necessary to take into account the social status and age of the interlocutor. Don't forget how familiar you are with him.
Also, your speech should always be filled with meaning. Empty phrases that have nothing behind them are a clear manifestation of disrespect for the interlocutor. Try to avoid using them. Let your speech be informative.
As for literacy, this condition is one of the most important. To be considered a cultured person, you should use words correctly depending on their meaning and the context of the conversation. Don't forget about accents. Unfortunately, many people sin by shifting the emphasis to the wrong vowels even in the simplest words.
Brief but important requirements of speech etiquette
If you decide to strictly follow the rules of speech etiquette, then you should consider several important requirements:
These are only the most important, basic rules of speech etiquette. Use them in your daily life and it will become more enjoyable and easier!